I burned out at my last job and had to move back home 4 months ago. I’ve been applying to roles nonstop, but nothing has landed yet, and the uncertainty is really wearing me down.
I’m an older virgin(29M), not by choice, and it’s something that hits my self-esteem hard. I’m also still working on my weight and trying to get my life stable again.
Going to therapy, some career coaching, gym; change is slow tho.
Emotionally, I’m not in a great place, and it’s been tough to feel “normal” or hopeful.
**Through all of this, my parents have been incredibly patient and supportive. They let me stay here without judgment, they don’t accept money from me, and they’ve basically given me space to try to rebuild myself. I honestly don’t know how I would be getting through this without them. I am more their roommate now then kid, I go and come as I please, I do all my own chores and stuff just given opportunity to live rent free till I get to next location. And trust me I wanna get back on my own feet fast too its been hard.**
But other day I was having a panic attack, and collapsed and my mom still helped me. It was so kind to help their son who has done nothing for them.
**I want to thank them in a real way like with a nice dinner, or something to really show them thanks. Most parents would have kicked me out on the sidewalk. They take mean comments from their friends who are all telling them how I am screwed and will never get a job again and they should kick me out.**
**I need to do this in 2 weeks however, they will be going out of town for a wedding and when they come back I won’t be around.**
Any advice or thoughtful gesture I can do?
Give them a hug and say thank you and that you love them. Sometimes this is all they need. I wish I’d done this for my mother before she died – I know it’s what she’d have wanted.
Man as a parent of two young girls, when they give me an honest hug and say I love you ( and not because they want something out of me lol) I can honestly say it’s the best feeling in the world. Just to feel loved and appreciated is quite a blessing🙏
I’m a dad and I can tell you that hearing a sincere thank you I love you with a real hug means more than you know. Aside from that just spend some real time with them.
Don’t hide your emotions and love for them. Hug them, say it words. Compliment them. Do non-monetary things for them, cook, clean. You know what they like. Treat like your best friends , because they are. Spend time with them dojng what rhey like. I’m 60, just spending time with my daughter is all I need. They wanted you and you mean everything to them.
Why won’t you be around ?
Cook them a nice dinner at home. Cooking isn’t too hard if you aren’t practiced, just find a recipe that looks manageable and follow it to the letter.
If you have the money and they have a favorite treat they don’t get very often like nice chocolates or alcohol, get some
If they like games/movies/sports or whatever, be the one to initiate it
Tell them you love them and give them a tight hug
You’re not gonna believe this but I tell you this as a parent of two young women, simply sit them down and tell them directly how much you appreciate and love them.
Then do your best to turn your life around.
I would never take money from my two kids unless I really needed it. Yes a nice dinner would be ok but I’d prefer a home made dinner and a hand made card.
Just love them and make them proud of you
They just want to see you on your feet bud. If you want to thank them, then thank them. They want to see you get stable before you do anything for them. Stop over thinking it.
It’s always good to let them know. Tell them what you’ve posted here. I think the ultimate repayment would be rebuilding yourself. That’s why they’re doing what they’re doing, they want you to be happy and healthy. It sounds like you’re in the right direction with therapy, gym and career coaching, stick with it and make them proud. Good luck my dude
Thanks and praise. Also getting yourself together and doing well in life is the biggest reward as a parent. Not having to worry about you anymore is a blessing, added bonus to watching you thrive. You got this!
Just say thank you. Let them know what you have been doing to improve yourself, and how much you appreciate the time they are giving you. If you have time, do chores around the house so they can relax. Just show your appreciation
All my mom ever asks me for is time to sit and chat. She would love love love going on a vacation together for a week or two where we can sit and chat and make a few memories.