Context; Me F18 and my boyfriend M19 are high school sweethearts. We started dating in 9th grade, and are now finishing our 13th year together (We come up on 4 years this April). In our relationship he has treated me wonderfully. Never raised his voice, listened to me, always considered me and my parents love him. There are a couple of problems that not many people know. He seriously struggles with mental health (anxiety, supposed ocd and medical anxiety), along with an unresolved physical issues with his immune system. He has tried therapy but constantly quits or moves on to different therapists and every day is a coin flip on whether or not he will function, and when he isnt in therapy he will use me instead. He doesnt get along with my friends and i dont know how else to word it other than I’m a little embarrassed by him. All the things I used to find endearing now feel juvenile and weird. On top of all this, I dont know if we want the same future anymore. Ever since I was a little kid I’ve wanted to be a nurse, and I have worked hard to get there. At this point I have a 97% average with my pick of schools and full ride scholarships, he on the other hand has struggled with health all through highschool which tanked his grades and still (as we apply for programs) does not know what he wants to do. I’m getting the feeling that its over, but I dont know what to do. With university coming, I dont want to dorm with him. I want to meet new people and explore new avenues. Excuse the TMI but I have never been intimate with another person because of this and it never even crossed my mind but now its becoming something I would be interested in. I dont know if this passes? If I wait will these feelings go away?
Break up. There must be some new expectation of teens to date one person and expect that person to be it for their whole life?? You DO need to date around in college. You DO need to experience life before settling down or you will regret it. Don’t go into college with a high school sweetheart you are not 100% down with. He doesn’t get along with your friends, he embarrasses you, he uses you as his therapist, and he has mental health issues. Honey even if you weren’t wanting a fun college experience, this guy needs to be let go asap. He is not the one and the sooner you break up the better. He is responsible for himself and he will get over this (or not) but YOU are not responsible for him and his feelings/reaction AT ALL. Understand that.
if you think you guys are starting to become incompatible then you might want to break up. if you want something that is guaranteed and you want to be married to him then stay together. if you want to explore different people then definitely break up
Thats what I worry about, he has been the only person to see me as desirable. When we met we were just kids, so I wonder if we arnt together if I will ever find anyone who treats me like him
if you are unhappy then break up with him because you will be miserable in a relationship. i also think when you get to college you should see if there are people who find you attractive. don’t cheat but if you have a lot of men being interested in you and you want to explore then break up with him. i only had one person in hs find me attractive. then i moved and i am considered attractive here
End things.
You are intelligent, driven, and hard working.
You should find someone who would equal your effort.
If you have a supportive partner you will both succeed in life.
You’d end up settling and would have to support your current partner. You’ll resent him and live an angry life.
Good luck
Happy Holidays