I was a normal person with everything perfect in my life, my school was great, my friends were great and my health was great but ever since last year my life has completely changed.
I meet this girl and we started a situationship and i quickly fell for her but im not too sure if she did, she was the best thing in my life and i would honestly live just to see her smile and be with her but everything changed one day when we meet each other somewhere but someone who is my family friend saw me with a girl and they decided to snich to my parents, the next day my whole family calls me down and shames me, and in simple words bullies me for meeting a girl and even though i kept refusing to have, it seemed they already checked my phone and knew everything.
For the next couple of weeks my whole family would mentally torture me and kept shaming me, and here enters the real story, my own blood brother was the one that snitched on me, yes my brother snitched on me and my own sister was the one that kept making my life hell just because i was talking to a girl and i made it to my ego that i will get my girl back and i did get her back and we kept going again in secret for few more weeks, until i was all in for her and she wasn’t, so one day i just kept pushing in her life when she didn’t want and eventually she left me and i was mentally depressed for weeks where I couldn’t even accept what was happening with me: my girl left me and my whole family made my life hell and home was such a toxic and depressing place, so then i got this 7 day a week job were i would work for several hours a day so i would stay away from my family
My family didn’t like this and they decided to get me a job into a family friend’s business so they could have an eye on me, yes a bloody eye on me, i would still work nearly every day but my parents would have reports on me this time, my life kept being a hell because home was still a toxic place, and the family which supposed to be friendly were the reason for most of my problem, but thats not all.
I recently found out my brother has been stalking me for years, and he has my phone, insta, and laptop’s password and he keeps checking everything frequently to see what i am up to, he is 6 years older than me and he doesn’t have a life, he doesn’t have friends, doesn’t have a job, and is extremely desperate for female attention and i doubt he is a porn addict because he doesn’t do anything in life literally anything, coming back to topic he confessed that he read my chats with the girl and he even knows her name and everything, i was left in a shock because i love my brother and he used to be my everything and i least expected him to do this to me, but i guess its our own that break our trust but the worst thing he plays innocent because he believes he is doing the right thing.
My dad is the guy behind my brothers ideology because he never allowed me and my siblings to go out and make friends, and he always kept imposing his misogynistic ideology on us because he has been abusing my mom forever and he wouldn’t even allow her a phone or simply go outside and the worst thing my mom doesn’t complain, coming back to the topic, we never sat with people our age or made any friends but we moved cities and eventually i made friends and i started going out with them but my brother never did and the only companion he ever had is my dad who implemented himself on my brother thats why he turned out like this
The past few weeks have been hell for me because i have been abused by my family for simply just wanting to see some frieds which i am forbidden now and i have tried to leave the house few times but haven’t because i get emotional blackmailed by my mom who is completely innocent, and to make matters worse i have been diagnosed in anemia and diabetes which are making me loose weight pretty quickly and my strength is finishing quickly because I can’t even work for 4 hours anymore were once i was taking 12 hour shifts and i haven’t told anyone about it because whats the point? I honestly wish death knocks on my door and im not being suicidal but i give up in my life and i wish it was over.
Ditch your family?!
How old are you?
I feel we are missing the context here, you are an adult, you work and yet somehow your family is treating you like a child, a small child and you just…. allow it?
Perhaps it is time to grow up and stand for yourself? Start by changing all your passwords everywhere, setup proper screen lock on your phone, so no one can unlock it but you.
Next step is to show them that you are an adult, for example you can actually go out and see whomever you want and nobody is entitled to get any explanation nor give you any permission for that.
There are so many more things you can do, I would have already been searching for my own place and preparing to just move out in your place tbh.
As someone with similar “family,” it’s easier said than done. I’m 30 and I still have them stalking me to the point of finding out where I work, eat, and even talking with my doctor. The people who have a history of physically abusing me, drugging me trying to kill me on a couple of occasions and removing the door to my bedroom as a child to “stop hiding things from them,” try to keep tabs on everything I do and influence those around me by befriending those I interact with who, after meeting my family, suddenly don’t believe anything I say about them and start taking their side in everything.
Unfortunately I can’t afford to get a new house, I’m too strapped down with debt and medical bills at the moment, but it’s been a regular thing. My dad even managed to convince my former mechanic to get an extra copy of my previous car’s key. If I could ever get a financial break, I plan to get a trailer and drink out the rest of my days without them knowing where I am.
I tried submitting stuff to the police, but it wasn’t long into the investigation that the case was thrown out because they not only denied all accusations, but convinced them that it was all a matter of perspective by bringing up old “evidence” to prove I was a danger to myself and that I was inappropriately reacting to them doing things out of my best interest.
Meanwhile, unable to get assistance, when I lost my last job I had no choice but to rely on them for food, and ironically, just like years ago, I started getting sick more frequently and severely than whenever i bought and made my own food.
To this day, practically everyone I’m acquainted with is well-acquainted with my family. I tried establishing a social circle online over the years, but people like to gatekeep and I don’t measure up to those they want.
You gonna have to learn ways to deal with it until you find your own place
You have to distance yourself from those animals you call a family, my guy. They’re not protecting you; they’re controlling you. None of this is normal. Report them to the police. Change your passwords, enable 2FA if you can, and look for options to move out because this isn’t it.
There’s still hope for you, but not with those people in your life.
I would start by changing your passwords on everything. If you are 18 or older? Start going out to meet your friends. Don’t be disrespectful, but just let them know you’ll be back, you are going out for some exercise.
The next step is to start looking for another place to live. Rent a room from a friend? Something.
Is there any way on earth you could make a shorter version of this. After 1 paragraph all I read was blah blah blah. You sound like a child. Learn to express yourself in a shorter version so as not to bore your audience.
All we can really say mate is that it isn’t supposed to be like that. That’s not what a family is meant to do. Right from the start of the post where you were talking about the shame of being seen with a girl, that’s not something that makes sense. I think your family might just be bugnuts and the thing to do is probably to get a different job and use it to live somewhere else. Rental prices are crazy right now, but for a single guy with, I’m guessing, not a huge amount of personal belongings, a small place with a bed, kitchen and bathroom will feel like a palace once you’re free of them.
There are a lot of red flags here. None of this is normal.
I feel religion is the driving force or cultural norms.
Change your passwords or start new accounts.