me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years. we started dating pretty early into the talking stage and i didn’t know anything about his jealousy, we hadn’t talked about it. after the first few months i started noticing he gets uncomfortable after i mention another guy, we have had many conversations about it and he has improved, but i still hear him say things proving that he still doesn’t trust me.
he is a lovely guy, sweet and thoughtful, but i feel like shit for being accused of things i would NEVER do. he doesn’t have any history of a partner cheating on him, or him cheating on someone, so i have no idea where his jealousy and insecurities come from. i have never cheated on anyone either.
he says he overthinks often, to what i don’t know what to answer, because i literally don’t do anything that would make someone think i’m being unloyal. when i mention it, he says that i should understand, because it ‘is a his thing’ and he is trying.
i have no idea how to deal with this. i’m tired of being accused or not trusted. i don’t want to leave him because of this, since he is a great guy. i just feel lost.
what can i do? what do i say to change this?
You’re saying a lot of nice things about a guy who feels comfortable treating you like crap
You can’t fix people like this. You either put up with it or you don’t.
You are not responsible for his actions and emotions, he has to solve his issue on his own, you are not his emotional support animal. Trust is a basic foundation in any relationship, i think you should reconsider if this relationship is something you actually want.
Have gone through the same thing in your age, the guy turned out to be emotionally abusive and manipulated me throughout the relationship… Kept feeling like a loser, in the end dumped him.
Trust yourself , if it feels wrong then tell him clearly he can not treat you like this. If he is a genuine guy he will put an effort as well. But if it keeps happening then you should breakup. Will be good for both of you. Good luck
He’s immature and insecure. “He is a great guy”: really? You think this is how a great guy would make you feel? You think a great guy would find you untrustworthy and make groundless accusations against you? Raise your standards and respect yourself more.