Co worker been flirting for months I’ve kept my guard up, showed her little interest/attention until this week. Shes always the one who messages me first also. I also found out today with stalking shes married despite her claiming to be single to everyone the entire time
**Last week on Saturday she weirdly messaged me “What I’m doing” at 10pm. I then received a phone call from her at 11:30pm. (I was asleep) She insists it was “by accident but seems shy about it when I asked her” replying “Oh sorry, that was a accident lol, you should sleep now haha” The weird thing is she was absent from work the next day for the first time in 2 years. I don’t know if she got drunk, confession, bored, banging another dude that couldn’t give her a ride back home and needed a lift, but she has never messaged me at that time..**
**I asked her what she was doing that time, she said she was watching a movie then the next day she quietly said “Porn” but said she was joking, I asked why she didn’t get any sleep last night and she quietly said “Im thinking of you”. No idea if she was joking**
Yesterday I also asked if she wanted to come for a ride after work ..after some hours of what looked like deep thinking she said “she can’t come”
A week ago she was asking what my house looks like on chat then I asked "Do you want to come to my house or something lol" then she said "No….”
She hasn’t messaged me for a week yet still flirting and asked me if “ I’m hot” (cause of the weather) I said naah, then she said “You’re hot” gesturing her hand directing it to my body from down to up dead serious ,she often says im good looking randomly, I asked her if she’s cold and she said “Yeah, can you hug me” I replied “If I hug you our co workers will think something is going on between us” and she replied “Ewww ur crazy haha” co workers are gossiping that she likes me.
**This is the only time she asked for a ride home)
-her lift home was absent at work for 3 days so she asked me to drop her off home, the next few days she quietly whispers " its our secret, don’t tell anyone else , I miss you dropping me off, I enjoy it" , There’s other people (woman) she’s close too that she can ask to drop her off home to avoid gossip but she still chooses me in this really really secret manner and that shes paranoid of gossip spreading if they find out but shy laughing about it, There are also people at work that literally know her husband on other shifts**
**She never wanted me to drop her off at her house only across the highway so her family don’t see and think im her “Bf”… (yeah she even said “bf” basically saying shes single)**
Shes now acting paranoid saying that people might think something is going on with us.
one time when no one was around she said “ Hey im cold” then put her arms out, i didn’t do anything
Yeah, shes pretty crazy and going to work sucks now. I didn’t like her at first but now I’ve developed feelings and need to get rid of them fast I’ll probably leave the job (warehouse)
So yeah, all this extreme flirting but nothing further possibly cause she’s playing a game for validation/attention/fun or sh!t scared of getting caught by husband
If you continue to engage with this woman it will only bring suffering to you. Don’t
I haven’t engaged with her all this time until this week but still sucks going to work with her around. But she has stopped messaging me now
Do not continue talking to her. Block her number . Don’t chit chat at work.
Really? That’s not what i read from you post!
Seems to me that you play a major part in the whole drama yourself. See, you’re not a victim of a crazy lady at work. You’re an adult with agency and you’re acting in way that’s enabling her.
Dude, you are her fantasy secret lover!
Developing feelings just because she is persistently showering you with attention is not a good thing. All this sounds quite crazy and if she is married it is a recipe for a disaster. So, yes you have to stop this.
Even if she was joking, the jokes all have the same theme and anything said half in jest is also said half seriously. Adding in the fact that she’s straight up lying about her marital status? I’m not sure if she’s trying to actually sleep with you, but she’s definitely trying to get attention in general and sleep with someone in particular (who isn’t her husband).
Also, the way she’s doing it has so many red flags that Kim Jong Un is jealous now. Maybe you should get HR involved; if you’re the one that speaks up first, you don’t need to worry about a situation where her allegations are the narrative that you then have to debunk. Besides, what you’ve described is literally sexual harassment, right down to how it makes you feel in the workplace. Keep receipts, you’ll unfortunately need them, I fear.
Don’t quit your job! I really think you should block her on your phone and politely disengage from her at work. Nothing good can happen, even if you do hook up-it would not be worth the fallout.
She is obviously hiding her marriage and family life-not sure how you have feelings for someone who is lying and chaotic. Focus on going out with friends who are not work related and/or work on getting a date with someone new to get your mind off this craziness.
Don’t get involved with married ppl. Don’t know the actions of others.
Just say next time: “what would your husband say to this?” and the whole matter should be resolved.
If she accuses you of stalking, just tell her that you needed to be sure she’s single, because you can easily lose your job when you’re cheating with somebody in the company. Be honest and straightforward. If any accusations are coming from her, you can also ask her why she did lie in the first place. That should shut her up. Also, if you have kind of a friend there who isn’t a gossiper, tell them everything just to have a witness, so that she can’t accuse you of stalking, sexual harrassment or worse. Don’t leave, make her needing to leave
if things go down. And imagine her husband hears about the rumours and going after you. You need to stop all this. It’s not worth all the trouble that could come. Can you maybe apply for a change of your shift?
One she’s either massively coming onto you. Or more likely getting herself off using you. And it’s now getting beyond her little secret and she’s starting to make it a real life thing. This is unlikely to get better.
Two be very careful about how you distance yourself from her. Sounds like the type of person to flip this and start stirring trouble for you at work. I’d consider letting someone you trust at work know this is an issue or seeing if others have noticed. Just to make sure you’re covered here.
She is clearly lacking something in her marriage , so she is using you to fill whatever hole she has in her life . Nothing good will come out of it .
This is not confusion. This is a married woman looking for validation, attention and an escape hatch without taking any of the risks herself. Everything she does fits the same pattern: flirt when it’s safe, back off when it gets real, hide you from her family, keep everything secret at work, push the boundary, then pretend innocence when it’s exposed.
She wants the dopamine but not the consequences. You were never meant to be a real option. You were meant to be an ego boost.
The danger isn’t that she sleeps with you. The danger is you get emotionally attached while she keeps you in the shadows and then denies everything the second it threatens her image.
Protect yourself. Create distance. You’re not imagining the mixed signals. You’re seeing who she actually is.
how many times is this gonna be posted here?