I’m naturally very cold and distant person, I’m shy and introverted and it takes a long time till I get comfortable with people to become all bubbly and outgoing. I can’t understand why my personality makes men think that’s okay to pursue me? I’m generally asexual and I tend to like one person every 5 year, I don’t date casually, I literally give off 🗿 vibe at first till I feel comfortable enough with people, this happens literally everywhere I go, I don’t understand how my behavior attracts men to think I like them?
I never ask questions, ever, I don’t listen to what they speak, I don’t show any interest in them as people, I don’t even look at them or smile but somehow they are magnetized.. they are ready to die for me.. I’ve had men find my number through others, stalk me, find my social media without knowing my name just seeing me on the street or in grocery store, send flowers and birthday presents at job (how did they found out my birthday?), come to my door, ask me on dates, pursue me for years when I never told them I’m interested in the first place.
On the other hand, when I like someone I’m naturally very sweet and my personality changes, I soften a bit, I flirt subtly and make jokes, I tease them gently to give signs that I’m interested without being too pushy, and that seems to repulse them? How?
I never got success with any guy I flirted first, literally never, they always ran away from me.. or ghosted or ignored me. I can’t understand this paradox.
Cause you come across as emotionally unavailable with your RBF. Unhealed guys chase that sort of toxicity.
Secure guys, when they presume you’re emotionally unavailable, they’re not interested.
Man here, we like people who are direct and blunt. Some women think this behavior can be considered bitchy. Many women are bitchy by nagging, belittling and making fun of people.
Male culture is avoidance at this point, acting nice or “normal” makes us uncomfortable as we are expecting a shoe to fall.
i’m not trying to achieve anything, not to attract or repulse – I’m just existing the way I’m born but something about that makes men loose their mind.. I don’t get it what’s the issue?
Original commenter told you. Men appreciate direct communication, we will typically not know what is going on without it. If you approach a man with a false pretense (especially since you’ve stated you’re asexual, which will be a dealbreaker for a lot of men), it will be red flaggy.
Also, it’s “lose.” Not “loose.”
I’m still an optimist to nice women, which scares my mom to hell.
People not just men but people, forever chase things they can’t have. Once They can have it, they realize they don’t want it.
Or in your case if they can have it straight off the bat they realize they have no interest in it.
Also you sound like you’re on the spectrum so maybe you’re not as being sweet, nice and as flirtatious as you think you are with these people you do like?
They dont love that.
looks like they do.. I had coworkers I never even talked with follow me home, stalk me, find my social media and my phone number.. one guy even had a fiance and was trying to flirt with me while I never even spoke with him at all, creepy stuff
All of your “evidence” is just anecdotal. “This happened to me and some other girls.” Okay. Yeah, there are shit men out there. Shit people. The vast majority aren’t like that.
I love crazy and toxic woman. Always have and presumably always will. I’m just not attracted to nice girls. An RBF may be a red flag warning sign to most guys but it’s an invitation to me.
You’re probably just attractive, OP. Though I’d be creeped out if randoms just knew my birthday or came to my door, so be careful there.
Maybe they aren’t being “repulsed” and just aren’t clicking with you. Are you being direct with the ones you’re into?
Could be that the guys you are interested in/like just aren’t interested in you.
I was going to be the one to go against the grain and say men don’t like it, but decided to check the comments first and saw your comment about how people have stalked you and follow you home and hit on you when they have fiancés and now I feel comfortable telling you that no, men don’t like it.
Boys do. You’re attracting boys. Immature, shitty boys.
Because it gives you a personality. Same reason why women like “bad boys” and not the quiet “nice “ guy. People like other people…very few want a welcoming doormat. Those people have psych issues.