Hi, I a 20 M live with 4 others, a 22m a 21m a 20m and a 19f. We have quite a large place togeather that gets quite messy because there is a lot of us, and we usually have a party or 2 every month.
We have a rotating system of who does what chor, bins, dishes, mopping, vacuming ect. But recently, no one has been doing anything, so i’ve been doing little bits of everything to keep the place tidy enough for a random inspection that might happen. But it’s a lot to do for one person.
So i asked them all if they would please do their tasks, and they all just stared at me as if i was crazy, one of them were trying to explain to me that the mess wasn’t that bad and i was just overreacting, and i maybe lost my temper a little and replied with, It’s not that bad because i’ve been cleaning it!. But it fell on deaf ears. Two weeks later and i am still the one who is cleaning everything. I am honestly getting to the point where i am tempted to just stop cleaning and force them to sit in their filth for awhile.
What should i do?
Stop cleaning. When it becomes unbearable for them, tell them you’ll clean for $20 a week from all of them or hire a cleaning service. Spending weeks trying to debate and argue with them just becomes too frustrating.
Make it 50 each minimum!!
$20/week is selling yourself way too short
clean up after yourself & your guests & nothing else 🤷🏻♀️
Stop doing everything at once. Make a schedule, do only your chores, wash only your dishes. Your roomates are old enough to care about themselves.
NTA.
As presented, this is not really an AAH situation or question. Chances are you have a different (higher) standard for what clean means. Chances are the place can be messier and they would be fine with that.
You can establish better rules for who does what, but if that doesn’t work or they don’t clean to your liking, you either live with it or move.
I won’t say I’m petty but I 21f would’ve said something after the second day if they weren’t doing their part and I would’ve stopped cleaning after them after saying something the first time. It’s not that hard to clean up after yourself In a group area.
NTA
This isn’t new and most times the answer is exactly that. And it’s not that YOU need ‘help’…THEY need to do their own chores so you don’t all live in filth.
Do your own dishes, clean up after yourself, do YOUR chores according to the chart, so when the garbage overflows, the 20m is the one to blame.
They’ll get it eventually, and if not, start looking for new place when the lease is up or (depending on whether you’re the main leaseholder) you can talk to them about NOT renewing their lease becuase they’re not holding up their end of the lease agreement.
NTA – Just stop doing it. They’re not going to understand why it’s “not that bad” until they see how bad it gets. Plus, by you doing it, you’ve set a precedent that they don’t have to do it because eventually you will.
Don’t clean it. Clean your stuff. They aren’t doing anything because you are doing it and they know it. Keep a set of clean dishes in your room, when you use them, clean them and put them back in your room.
If you are really grossed out by the mess in the house move out because it isn’t going to get better. They have no respect for the other housemates if their reaction was, “its not that bad.”
Another thought is to do a group deep clean and do a restart. It can be overwhelming if you have to do everything for one week. (I have ADHD and get overwhelmed and don’t know where to start… so I shut down and end up disengaging.) Though by the age of your roommates, it could just be that they are slots because they can be because they don’t have mom nagging them.
You mentioned that you could get an inspection at any time. Is that from your landlord? Contact your landlord and explain the situation. Ask him if he will come in and do an inspection to scare the roommates into compliance.
NTA. I agree you should stop cleaning their mess. However, I don’t think your roommates are going to care too much because they have lower standards of cleanliness. It could be good to start thinking about your next living situation when the lease ends.
Do your part and only your part. Don’t renew when the lease comes up. Find housemates that have similar needs for cleanliness and will be more compatible to live with.
> It’s not that bad because i’ve been cleaning it!.
NTA – Honestly, I’d be tempted to take all the mess and dump it in this persons room but that’s a fantasy. Problem is if you get an inspection y’all gonna lose your money. Other problem is you’re all young and some people only learn through mistakes.