Hi, all. I’m in the Air Force, and I’m slated for a promotion. One of my fellow Airmen who joined around the same time is up for a promotion, too, but I found out from her supervisors that she is absolutely not getting it, partly because she’s had some conflicts with peers, and partly because she has made it clear that when her contract is up, she is 100% going to separate from service. I’m hesitant to say anything because it’s not my place, but I spoke to her recently and she’s clearly under the impression she’s ranking up. She told me she’s looking forward to the pay bump, which makes me feel guilty that I know it’s not coming. WIBTA if I say nothing and let her supervisors give her the bad news, or should I give her forewarning that she’s not putting on rank? Thanks in advance.
YWBTA. It is not your place to tell her.
You mean NTA as op is clearly asking if they’d be TA if they didn’t tell her
I would stay out of it and feign ignorance — honestly how would she ever know you know? I would not risk my own promotion by disclosing information to my friend. Because your bosses might find out if she complains to them – which it sounds like she will.
INFO: Are you risking something from telling her the information? Less trust from her peers? Other people in the force? Some fines?
If not, YWNWTA, tell her to keep the friendship, if it is risky, do not do it.
NTA, it is not your place to say anything. Let the service be the bad guy, and just be there for your friend once the list comes out
NTA
Don’t say a word. You were entrusted with information. If you break that trust, it could change a lot of things for you moving forward including losing your own promotion. There are always consequences. When she tells you, tell her you’re sorry to hear that. If she asks if you knew, don’t lie. Tell her you were entrusted with the info, and you were not able to tell her.
Are you her superior officer? No? Then keep your mouth shut.
Are you the person who made the decision? No? Then keep your mouth shut.
Are you authorized to tell her that she won’t get the promotion? No? Then keep your mouth shut.
Are you feeling smug because you get to move up and she doesn’t? Yes? Then keep your mouth shut.
As long as you keep your mouth shut, you won’t be the AH.
Blunt, but fair. Looks like I’m keeping my mouth shut.
Agreed.
OP shouldn’t know anything about someone else’s situation unless they are in a position where they have a need to know that information.
When they receive information they are not supposed to have, they need to act as if they know nothing.
Also, the decision isn’t final until it’s formally announced and OP could find themselves sharing outdated information.
NTBA. This is an HR issue and is none of your business. Meddling in it will only end badly for you.
If you have any kind of friendship with this person, it will be over if you tell them, and it will likely be over if they find out you knew and didn’t tell them. Plus, if your leadership finds out you talked, that damages your credibility and shows that you cannot be trusted to keep a confidence.
Essentially, saying anything is a no-win situation.
NTA since your heart is in the right place, but I have a feeling you shouldn’t really know about her lack of promotion. Stay out of it.
YWNBTA – it is not your place to tell her. It might even be career limiting. You need to show you are not a gossip and that you know when to hold your tongue. What happens if you got bad information or the higher ups change their minds?
NTA. As you already said: it is not your place. If anything saying something to her could result in your superiors reconsidering you for a promotion as you could no longer be considered trustworthy. Them telling you that information may not have been intended as a test to see if you would tell this person or not but it’s a good idea to treat it like it is a test and just not say anything.