For context, I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year, and I wish I got invited to more family functions. I understand that I am not entitled to being invited to any of these events, but I can’t help but feel a little sad.
For example, there was a movie night where my boyfriend, his parents, two brothers, his brother’s girlfriend, and relative(let’s call him James) all did together. I can’t help but to compare myself to James in this situation, and let me tell you why. James appeared in my boyfriend’s life 4 months after we’ve started dating because he moved to the US from another continent for education reasons. My boyfriend’s family did not know James existed until he moved to the US. I understand that James might be put at a higher importance than me because he is family, but he is a very distance relative. James is my boyfriend’s cousin’s wife’s relative(my boyfriend isn’t exactly sure how he is related to the wife).
Another example would be during a holiday lunch where 20+ people were invited to, including James and the brother’s girlfriend. I got invited in the last 24 hours(the family knew about this lunch for over a week), and this makes me feel like I am an afterthought. Another person I am comparing myself to is the brother’s girlfriend since we both share the title of girlfriend. However, she has been dating the brother for 6 years, so I understand she is much closer to the family than I am.
The trigger to my bitterness is a recent engagement party to celebrate the brother and (now) fiancé. Over 200 people were invited, and I wasn’t one of them. Of course, James was invited. Even a cousin’s girlfriend from another state was invited.
I feel like my boyfriend should be responsible for inviting me to some family functions instead of waiting for his family to suggest it. I am only invited to the ones that are directly related to my boyfriend, such as his birthday dinner or his concerts.
I need someone to tell me if my feelings are valid or if I’m being too petty and should stop being butthurt. Thanks.