I (F42) and my sister (F39) are the only two children of our mother. Our father died 7 years ago. My sister (let’s call her Mary) has two sons and a husband. I have one son and am divorced. Mary offered to host Christmas this year and that was fine until today when she said she plans to invite 3 (male) “orphans” from her workplace to join us. I don’t want this to happen because:
1. We are only 5 adults (me, Mary, her husband, our mother and our elderly uncle) and 3 kids. Adding 3 strangers to an already very small family group will tip the balance and make it an awkward day.
2. My son (10) has autism and will really struggle to understand and cope with 3 random male strangers at our Christmas celebration.
3. I always strive to have family traditions (which admittedly are hard to keep up in such a small family), but adding 3 (to us) random strangers will really affect the dynamics.
I also think the 3 workmates probably wouldn’t want to come if they understood how intimate our family group is. They aren’t really orphans after all (they could do something the 3 of them and almost be the same sized group as us!).
My sister has always wanted to invite “orphans” and when it was just one genuine, hard done by loner, I welcomed them too. But 3 workmates when we are only 5 adults in the first place is too much. AITAH to kick up a fuss and say no?
You’re NTA, but if you refuse or don’t go, you’re missing an opportunity to teach all of these kids about inclusion and kindness at a time of the year when lots of people are depressed and even moreso if they don’t have anywhere to go.
NAH
If your sister is acting as the host, she’s entitled to extend an invitation to those in her social orbit that need a place to celebrate.
**But** an invitation is not a summons. If you don’t feel that having christmas with people you don’t know will be disruptive or difficult, then celebrate christmas at your own home.
This –
>> AITAH to kick up a fuss and say no?
NAH if you just say no; YTA if you kick up a fuss about it
Your sister is the host, she can invite who she’s wants. You can decide not to go, but you can’t dictate who she invites.