Hey all, my girlfriend and I broke up Sunday after 2 years, however I am still unsure of the situation and what to expect, to me it’s not as clear cut as it sounds.
For context, I showed up to her house and we watched a movie like we normally do on Sundays. After the movie, she gave the classic “we need to talk,” I assumed I was going to get dumped right away but that wasn’t what happened.
We talked for awhile about numerous things we could get better at, but then she brought up how her anxiety, which she suffers from, is making her concerned and scared for the future – and that she can’t be in a relationship while trying to figure it out, but also that she didn’t want to break up with me. When I heard this, and since I love her for who she is, I told her we should end it then while she figured out her problem. And before anyone says it, it’s not to go look for other options etc, she made that very clear after further discussion, she would be completely single and alone while she figured this out, and it would only be me if she figures it out. We then held each other for a few hours, confirmed that neither of us fell out of love hugged and said goodbye.
Today is day 3 of no contact, and thinking back on our discussions I’ve become more confused, or maybe overly hopeful. I initially went to talk with my cousin who lives with her / is her best friend, and now I’m even more confused. My cousin said “I get that! And she pretty much said that she has just been anxious about the future and doesn’t know if you guys r on the same path and she feels bad bc she doesn’t want to set u back either. She did tell me that she would rather have a breakup turn into a break then a break turn into a breakup. She just needs a few weeks to get this pressure off of herself.”
Basically what I’m looking for is advice on what all of this means? I plan to continue no contact and to not break it, as it has pushed people away in the past – which I don’t want with her.
Edit: I forgot to mention, that after we broke up, we agreed on a planned meeting date January 10th, after 35 days of no contact.
She needs space to figure things out nothing wrong with that. Give her time dont push it or you’ll lose her for good
I figured, and I planned on giving her the time. I forgot to mention, and I’ll make an edit in the post. That after we broke up we agreed on a planned meeting January 10th.
I think you’re right. The only control you have here is whether or not you can reach out. If you agreed to go no contact, don’t break it: you’ll only seem needy. Use whatever emotion this is causing it you as fuel to do all those things you talked about with her to make yourself better. Even if it doesn’t work with her, it’ll be a net positive for you instead of net negative. Best of luck
Breaks are just slow roll breakups anyway. If she can’t sort herself while in a relationship she shouldn’t be in one. And she’s not now. And you’re not now.
You also are not a passenger. If you want to sit around and wait and see how things are in 30 days, by all means, do it. But I don’t think it’s fair for her to ask that of you or anyone else. Seems to me she’s just got you on the backburner in case she wants to date again.
Leave her alone but I wouldn’t place any bets on this thing moving forward. She doesn’t sound to be in a place mental health wise to be dating and a month is going to change it even if she’s doing therapy.
Yep, that’s what I planned on doing and made it clear to her, that we are broken up and I would continue my life. I also made it clear to her that if she does figure it out and if I’m single, lmk asap.
bro imma be real
this girl just wasn’t feeling you and this was the easiest way to let you down without making you feel hurt. people will spin the longest stories to explain a breakup when the real reason is they love you but not enough to date you and don’t want to be with you but don’t want to hurt you.
if she wanted to be with you, she would be, anxiety or not.