Throwaway account. I showed my daughter (18F) her birth certificate the other day. When I did she immediately pointed out that her middle name isn’t spelled how she thought it was.
I honestly forgot I spelled it the way I did. It’s not an unheard of spelling but I don’t remember why I spelled it the way I did (I blame the fact that I had just given birth). I guess we didn’t catch it because she normally just gives her middle initial.
She is VERY unhappy that she spent the past 18 years spelling her name one way just to find out it was spelled slightly different. I told her I honestly don’t remember why I spelled it that way but the only thing she can do now is pay to change it if it really matters that much. Her dad is also PO’d, because he spent his whole life having to spell his name out to people and “thought we were on the same page” that we didn’t want her to have a name she has to spell all the time. Am I the AH here? I honestly haven’t looked at the certificate since she was born.
Yes YTA while it’s a middle name it’s still her name. You couldn’t be bothered to actually know her name. A name you picked out.
You’re asking if YWBTA for forgetting how you spell your own daughters name? Yes, YTA.
You named her. That’s something you should remember about your own kid.
YTA. I had something similar happen my senior year of high school and it was such a major hassle to find where it was wrong & get it corrected. . . college applications/test scores/the IRS because I had a part time job on the books/etc.
Besides the logistical aspect, how do you forget how to spell your own child’s name?!?
YTA. in eighteen years, you never once looked at her birth certificate or gave any thought to the fact you taught her to misspell her own middle name? Then, you doubled down by telling her SHE could pay to change it. The least you could have done was take the blame, apologize, and offer to pay for the change yourself.
I can’t believe that the kid never got a job, a work permit, played a sport, etc. etc. etc. for her whole life.
Also, happy cake day!
YTA
YTA
YTA My MIL did the same thing to my husband. It’s been an incredible hassle trying to change documents that had his middle name fixed.
We found his MIL’s birth certificate after she died. Her first name was spelled the “normal” way. She spelled it entirely differently. We also found her early schoolwork where she spelled her name phonectically, which is the way she spelled it. We all have no idea how she got driver’s license, passport, social security, etc., in her made up spelled name. She didn’t have it legally changed.
Although it was unintentionally, YTA. But I think the biggest part that makes YTA is the not wanting to take ownership of the mistake and minimizing it to make yourself not feel as bad. Although it will be a hassle change everything ASAP legally, the longer you wait the harder it will be.
How have you never looked at her birth certificate? How has *no one* ever looked at it before now? How did she get into school, obtain an ID of any kind, or apply for anything else that requires it? That’s just craziness to think that an important document like that hasn’t seen the light of day since you got it.
YTA. How have you never looked at their birth certificate in 18 years? You also taught her to spell her middle name wrong. Now if she wants it changed she has to pay for it? You made the mistake so you should be the one paying for it, not her.
YTA if she has ANY ID that uses her middle name that doesn’t match her middle name, it’s going to be a pain to fix. How did you not know what you put down? Did you just hand it over when enrolling her in school? You should be paying to fix it, not shrugging it off like it doesn’t matter, it’s her *identity* you’ve changed her understanding of.
Ridiculous, YTA
YTA. It’s beyond my understanding how you never looked at it for 18 years. And I completely understand why your daughter is upset.
“the only thing she can do now is pay to change it if it really matters”
It does really matter! All of her documents have to match exactly. You made the mistake, not her. You should be the one paying to fix this, not her.