Hello I’m 22M. According to my country laws, I’ve legal right to my family’s ancestral property, even when my parents are alive. I’m a co-owner since birth.
We have a piece of ancestral land beside the local temple. Few years ago, the temple authorities started asking my dad to let them use the land during big events. My parents, being religious and not wanting to disappoint the temple priest, agreed. My dad was legally required to take my consent before doing so, but he didn’t. I was a minor at that time btw.
Slowly, the temple people started building shacks, wooden shelfs etc in our land to store things and started using it without asking. Parents aren’t raising voice as they don’t ‘need’ that land anyways. They’re in fact happy being useful for religious purpose.
I’m not religious at all. I did my engineering and want to pursue masters abroad. But that’s extremely expensive. I wouldn’t be able to collect funds myself even if I work and save all my income for 5 years, even though I currently earn decent for my age.
Parents won’t pay, which is totally fair. I don’t want to take the risk of huge education loan. I would end up repaying it throughout my late 20s and early 30s. That too if things go smooth. I got aware of my inheritance right during late teenage. I’ve zero emotional attachment to that land, unlike my dad.
I recently talked to dad about taking them out of our land and offered to build a boundary and gate around it on my own expense. He strongly denied. My plan is to ultimately claim my part and sell it. The large sum I’ll get would be enough for me to study abroad and even pay off my expenses. That’s enough for me to settle my life as I work hard in studies.
It resulted into a very heated argument between parents and me for 2 hours straight. I waited for few days and bought the issue again. They aren’t even ready to reclaim the land from temple people as it would be a ‘shameful’ act in community. I don’t care as I never even consented for it in the past. Also, the longer they use our land, the harder it will get to evict them. I again waited for a week and bought it up, still no change.
As a last resort, I told parents to reclaim my part of land (that is 50% of total land) within 3 months or else I’ll take legal help, that would a painful procedure for them as a legal case within family is seen like taboo. They would get mentally defeated the moment a legal case starts.
AITA? Parents saying they’re crushed from both sides and I’m being extremely selfish
Is this in Thailand?
Sounds like India tbh
You’re correct
Yea figured, “ancestral land” “temple”, family taking advantage and not thinking children have any rights because everything a child owns is viewed as the parents stuff by default… Leave the country and never look back fam. I know I will.
Yeah, you kinda suck to be honest.
Okay. but what else I’m supposed to do?
I bought the issue with them 3 times within a time of one month. They’re adamant to their decision. Even legally speaking, my parents are always required to get my consent if they sell/gift/donate or temporarily give possession to someone of our ancestral property, even if I was a minor at that time.
Offer to sell the land part to the temple itself or offer your parents the possibility to buy it back from you
Explain that while they won’t pay for your education, you intend to have one, not become a priest, and as such you have no intention of keeping ‘sacred land’ just for the religious aspect of it
How does it work? Do you own a portion of it, and your parents and siblings each own a portion as well? Seems very impractical. What if you have kids and they want their share of the land but you’ve sold it? Would they be entitled to a share of someone else’s portion?
1. The father, his son(s) and daughter(s) are legal co-owners of an ancestral property since birth. They own it equally.
2. Since I’m a single child, my dad and me jointly own the whole land. Hence, I can demand a 50-50 partition whenever I want.
3. A citizen is allowed to sell his ancestral land for legitimate reasons like education, health or basic survival. I’m doing so.
NTA
As you own part of the land, they need to work with you to find a solution. How about you appraise it and your parents buy it from you? Then they can lose it if they like.
I think you need to consider your parents in all of this. If you do this, you essentially cause a huge problem, cast them out of their own community and then disappear abroad and leave them to deal with the consequences of a bit of land that probably noone would buy. So essentially risking losing your family over money.
If it’s that important to you, then explain your situation to the temple priest. Ask him whether they would be willing to buy the parts of the land they’re using to help you fund your studies abroad.
I don’t know how it would work in your country, but claiming land to sell when there are multiple owners is very difficult. It’s not just a case of splitting it up, everyone usually has to be in agreement. Why don’t you seek some legal advice before going any further with this idea.
But honestly, YTA. This land and money will land in your lap when it’s your time. Trying to take this and leaving your parents who raised you to this point in your life, potentially outcast from their own society is cruel. Yes you’re not religious, and you didn’t ask to be born into this, but you have to consider your family and their shame and religion. There has to be another way to get yourself abroad. Work and save?
Good luck in whichever route you choose. But I would never sacrifice the people who love me for money. I don’t think the gods will favour you either.
Where I live being able to pay off the student loans for a master’s degree in engineering by my early thirty’s, would be a dream.
NTA – You already own the land you are trying to ‘reclaim’. Whether or not your parents decided on your behalf what to do with the land is virtually irrelevant; you still have the right to do as you please with your land.
Unless your parents can buy it from you, they can’t decide what you should be doing with your half and any impression they could is only being muddied by the fact they’re trying to guilt trip you into feeling for them.
That being said, if your parents could work on a way in which you could pursue your education whilst retaining the land, and a use of it that they approve, you could try explore other avenues with them on that?