I (18F) have been friends with Olivia (18F) and Charlotte (18F) since the start of high school.
Background info, I was hanging out with Olivia alone when I accidentally let slip that Charlotte and I worried she progressed pretty quickly when dating for the first time.
Olivia suddenly got really serious and asked who said that. She then specifically asked if Charlotte said it. I panicked and said it was Charlotte and made it sound like she was the only one who thought that.
Olivia got extremely angry and went on a rant about how disrespectful it was and how she was moving at a normal pace. After that, she completely cut Charlotte off and hasn’t spoken to her since.
What makes it worse is that Olivia told me to tell Charlotte she’s just really busy with work and school and doesn’t have time to hang out.
That was 8 months ago. Charlotte still thinks Olivia is just busy and keeps saying she hopes things will go back to normal when summer comes.
Meanwhile I still hang out with Olivia regularly. I’ve tried to convince he to talk to Charlotte again but she’s completely set in not being friends anymore.
Now I really feel guilty because Charlotte still doesn’t know the real reason Olivia stopped talking to her.
So AITA for:
1. Blaming Charlotte in the moment instead of admitting I also shared the thought?
2. Keeping the truth from Charlotte for the last 8 months and letting her think Olivia is just busy?
YTA. Own your words. You are allowed to have an opinion. But own it. Your friends deserve the truth. Eight months of lying and or sidestepping the truth made it worse. Sit down and draw your thoughts then talk with them both. Be prepared to possibly loose both friends over this.
Not only are you the AH but you have also shown you’re true colours, you are a 2 faced lying untrustworthy person, both of them deserve a better friend than you
YTA
You know that already OP, you say it yourself many times “threw her under the bus”, “made it sound like she was the only one who thought that” etc. The question is what are you gonna do about it.
I am sorry but without a doubt You Are The Asshole. Even if you panicked not only did you knowingly lie but did so for months. Sit down with both of them, tell them the truth. You owe it to them. And be prepared to lose them both.
YTA. an in-the-moment slip up is understandable, but keeping it secret for so long is bad for your relationship. if you want advice: the fact that you were uncomfortable enough to write this post suggests to me that you’ll be upset with yourself for a long time if you don’t come clean.
YTA, but may I just ask, is there more to what you and your friend said about Olivia’s relationship that you aren’t sharing because her reaction seems kind of extreme if you guys were just worried about the rapidness of her relationship.
Yes! Omg YTA for both of those things.
YTA
YTA. Also, Olivia’s reaction seems kind of extreme, which makes me wonder what exactly you told her and whether you might have put words in Charlotte’s mouth.
You’ve been lying to both of your friends for months because you don’t want to own up to your opinion. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to come clean. But they both deserve to know the truth.
YTA. You’re a two faced snake. What comes around, goes around. When karma comes knocking, I hope it’s a hundred times fold.
For you to even ask this is crazy. Of course laying all the blame on your friend and then letting that lie cause a rift between them is an asshole move. How can you even look at any of them in the eye after that?