Repost on a different forum because on the other AITAH one I just got AI replies. (ironic) Before we get into this I just wanna make a disclaimer that neither I nor my cousins are adults, and I have a strong hatred for AI that my cousins know about. They are also semi anti-AI (I think?)
I have a dearest OC that I love with all of my heart. I wasn’t really expecting to get any content on him for my birthday (because he’s a relatively new oc and had no merch of him) but my cousins decided it would be a great idea to feed my art that I MADE into AI so that he could lipsync “happy birthday” to me. I personally felt really uncomfortable, but I opted to not say anything because I didn’t wanna start an argument or discourse on my special day.
Everything goes OK, but my birthday gets cut very short due to family problems I’m not yet comfortable sharing on this platform to a bunch of random strangers.
Cut forward to a few months later, I was thinking back to the time where I didn’t really get to have a proper birthday. I thought it would be a good idea to give myself some peace and to ask my cousins why they fed my art into AI that day.
Here’s where I might be the AH. When I decided to confront them, they responded dryly by saying “Well I didn’t know it was bad.” And “we just did it to make you happy!” I responded with “Mhm. Sure.” One of my other cousins told me that “I was being condescending” and that “this was really awkward.” I decided not to respond to either of them because I was still angry about their flippancy at the time.
Currently (as I am writing this) one of my cousins are trying to get ahold of me via discord. AITAH? Was I in the wrong for expecting atleast an “I’m sorry” for feeding my art into AI? I know it might not be a big deal to them but it really hurt me because they both know and have known about my very anti-AI ideology. I feel like them doing it on my birthday was the cherry on-top, but they’ve been acting like I was the crazy one for bringing up something months ago. Which maybe I was. I dunno.
I feel bad for leaving them on read even though they want to talk to me, but I’m still so so angry and feel like they don’t actually care about how I feel on this situation. AITAH?
Very early update: after I posted this I checked my DMS and my cousins are currently very worried about me acting up. I feel really bad for ghosting them like this, but I am still kinda angry that they dismissed me like nothing earlier. I still haven’t gotten an apology, but my cousins have asked me to talk to them about my feelings and issues. I probably will when I’m ready tomorrow.
Update 2: thank you for the people that gave me advice, I had a talk about it with my cousin and it was true he really didn’t understand what he did was bad and I did get my apology 🥹 I do feel bad for not communicating with him earlier, but everything is all good now and Kevin (the presumed OC) is now “ai free” ❤️
NTA.
You really need to talk to them — not condescend, just talk — and explain what your problem is with them feeding your art into AI. They may really not understand, in which case you need to let go of some of that anger. You’ve been holding onto it for a very long time, regardless of how you feel about AI. And if they don’t understand what the problem was, they *certainly* aren’t going to understand why it’s such a big deal to you.
Frankly, I don’t see the value of holding onto anger for months rather than address the problem. Is there a reason you’ve chosen to do that?
Yeah that makes a lot of sense if I’m being honest. I only thought up about the AI thing because my mind wandered over to by birthday party and how it got shortened early. I should definitely go and talk to them about it because they seem genuinely worried for me and my wellbeing ☹️.
I wasn’t exactly holding onto the anger tbh, it just flared up and I felt dumb for not addressing it months ago, so why not do it now? that was pretty weird of me lamo
NTA. I cannot stand ai
I like ai! I think it’s going to be interesting seeing how good it will get.
You’re NTA, I think Counther did a good job explaining why. My main reaction tho is that the birthday “gift” would suck even if you weren’t particularly against AI. It cost no time no money no thought no talent no effort. If you wanted to rip off your own art with the slop dispenser, you could have done it in seconds as well. So in addition to not understanding you (the real treasure in a gift) it just really wasn’t much of a present at all.
We’re talking about kids/teens here who may not have the ability to go and get a gift themselves, knowing their cousins love for the OC and it being her birthday the likely thought it would be a fun gesture for her to acknowledge that they wanted to do something for her… clearly didn’t understand that it was something she wouldn’t have liked and didn’t get her hatred for AI.
NTA but have a healthy discussion since they might not get it
I mean they were just trying to be nice, instead of ghosting them and giving condescending answers you should have just said how you felt. Saying “mhm. Sure.” to them being honest about not knowing it was bad makes YTA
People are going to go easy on you cause ai = evil but you really made this more difficult then it needed to be and I think you need to hear that
NTA. You’re allowed to feel upset about someone using your art in a way you’re not comfortable with, especially when they already knew you’re strongly anti-AI. Your OC and your artwork are personal, so it makes sense that it felt weird or disrespectful to see it fed into AI without your permission.
That said, it also sounds like your cousins genuinely thought they were doing something nice for your birthday and didn’t fully understand why it would bother you. The only slightly rough part was the “Mhm. Sure.” response, which can come off a bit condescending, but that doesn’t make your feelings invalid.
Honestly this just sounds like a miscommunication, not anyone being malicious. And since you already talked it out and got an apology, that’s pretty much the best outcome. Sometimes people just don’t realize something is a big deal until it’s explained to them.
YTA. You handled this poorly when they only wanted to do something they thought you’d enjoy for your birthday.. unless you explain what you dislike about something and why most people won’t understand. Instead of choosing to let it go or choosing to explain it to them later, you have condescending and rude comments and then ignored them. Your feelings aren’t the issue, how you handled this was problematic.
NTA. Next time they try to pull shit like that, just tell them to do their own shit and then they can use it however they like.