Hi Reddit,
My partner and I have a bit of a minor issue where we butt heads over paying bills and I just really want a sanity check.
For some background, our finances are completely joined, both of our salaries are deposited into our joint account and all expenses come from it. We both jointly own our house and have equal ownership of it. Aside from daily expenses we both consult each other on purchases, so there aren’t any surprises here – the bills and invoices in question are expected and aren’t surprises.
So, the issue. I’m quite keen on paying bills once they’re received. We have been spending a lot of time renovating our house with workers coming and going, so we have a number of bills coming in. All of the money for this is set aside, it’s in a separate account just for this purpose.
For example, we’ve had all of the old windows replaced with new ones. They did a good job and sent us an invoice following the install. I saw the invoice show up while I was at work so once I got home I mentioned paying it. My partner asked me why I was in such a hurry, the invoice has a 14 day payment window so we’ll pay it closer to the end of the window. I countered with reminding her they’ve done a service for us, we should pay them promptly. There was some back and forth and eventually my partner got upset and told me just to pay them.
Since then it’s been the same thing, I mention paying any of these bills (and others) and my partner ends up telling me to wait until closer to the due date for the payment. I can’t get a real reason why my partner is pushing it so hard.
From my point of view, we already have the money aside, it’s not going to impact any of our existing cashflow. We’ve engaged someone to do a job for us, I think it’s fair we pay them promptly. Finally, I like to get it cleared so I don’t forget to pay it.
I guess it could be to do with checking everything over or is done correctly perhaps? Is there anything I could be missing?
NTA. If you’ve already got the money it makes sense to pay it now and then it’s done. Also, it messes business around if they have to wait for payment and can cause real problems for them. Imagine if your employer didn’t get around to paying your salary for a couple of weeks.
NTA. This was my strategy for much of my adult life.
But when interest rates were high I started to delay paying some of my larger bills for the interest. Which I guess is what your partner is thinking of? Or just having it available to you in case of some crazy emergency.
Personally I like to schedule the payment as soon as I get the bill but have it programed to go out a day or two before the due date. Could be a compromise?
I guess there are probably NAH, but if the work is done, the invoice is correct, and the money is already allocated, then I don’t personally see any financial difference between paying immediately or in two weeks. I would just get it over with for peace of mind.
Could you be missing that your partner is spending money without speaking to you about it? Are they putting off paying bills in order to cover up unnecessary spending? Maybe it’s a family mentality thing: I’m definitely pay now and forget about it, my partner is from a farming background and sometimes bills for services don’t come in until months after the project is finished (in line with when government payments would be made, animals would be sold etc, so bills come in when more money becomes available).
NTA
And if she can’t give you a straight answer I would absolutely be going through finances with a fine tooth comb and paying all bills in a timely manner.
NTA
Unless there’s a very good reason to wait, the sooner you pay, the sooner it’s paid.
NTA. Honestly, I don’t think you’re the asshole for that. Some people just feel less stressed when bills are taken care of right away. Once it’s paid, it’s off your mind and you don’t have to worry about forgetting it or accidentally missing the due date.
I get that some people prefer to wait until closer to payday or the due date to manage their cash flow, and that’s valid too. But wanting to pay things as soon as they come in just sounds like a responsible habit, not something selfish or controlling. It’s really just a different approach to handling money.
NTA. The money is already set aside, paying promptly is good practice, and there’s no cash flow reason to wait. Your partner might just prefer using the full payment window as a buffer in case of disputes about the work, worth asking her directly if that’s the reason, because that’s actually a valid point even if she hasn’t articulated it yet.
NTA.
I suppose there is some minor advantage to holding on to your money as long as possible to earn interest, but we’re talking small fractions of a cent even with large balances. We live the same way you do. Get the bill, pay the bill. From our perspective it is just one less thing to do later and you guarantee no one forgets.
NAH. You can process it now for payment before due date. You maximize your interest on the money and still pay them on time or slightly early, however you want to set it up.
I get it, you want the invoices dealt with right away. He might be thinking about the interest on this money while you still have it.
What I do is put a future exécution date to a transfer. I schedule it right away and won’t forget it, it will be paid 2 days before the due date, I earn a few cents of interest and the receiver is happy because I reliably pay on time.
NTA. Paying bills promptly just makes sense, especially for services well done. Like, why drag it out? If you’ve got the cash and it’s all good, just pay it and move on. Life’s too short to stress over invoices, ya know? Plus, it builds good vibes with the workers!
NTA overall, because of the impact on small businesses – although it’s N A H for large organisations.
It makes a huge difference to small businesses to get the money asap, because they don’t have a huge set of other income streams. And just like your boyfriend wants to maximise the interest in his accounts, so do the small businesses.
Also it’s extra mental load on them, tracking if you’ve paid or if you’re one of the awful customers who will need to be chased after not paying by the deadline.
But for large companies – eg utilities – then you can do the admin asap if that suits your style better, but put a future date on the payment.
NTA. I only ever use that window period if im really hard on cash and need the extra days to wait for my pay to come in. If not, paying right off the bat is honestly the better way to go, not only its right to do it but also you dont have to stress about whether you have paid it or not.
Maybe ask her why she wants to wait? Is there a particilar bill she wanted to pay but didnt tell you or something else she wanted to buy/get?
NAH. I suspect your partner believes that money in your account is better than money in those businesses accounts. You will also earn a (tiny) amount of extra interest. Just a different way of doing things.