I (23M) had a classmate back in high school. I wouldn’t exactly call him a close friend, but we were more than just classmates. We talked sometimes and were generally cool with each other. Back then I had already started working out, and he used to call me “ripped,” so we got along fine.
After high school we went our separate ways, but we were still friends on Facebook. One day we ended up chatting, and I honestly don’t even remember how the conversation turned sour. But he suddenly got really hostile and started insulting me. It escalated to the point where he created a group chat with some of his classmates just to talk trash about me.
They were all saying things about me, but one thing he said stuck with me all these years. He said: **“You’ll probably end up as a computer shop attendant anyway.”**
That hit me hard at the time, especially because we were both studying Information Technology. It felt like he was saying I would never amount to anything.
Fast forward to now. I’m working remotely for a company. No RTO, fully work-from-home. I get to keep most of my salary since I don’t spend much on transportation or food outside. I can help my family financially, and after work I can literally just lay down and rest. Overall, life turned out pretty good for me.
Earlier today, I randomly ran into him. I noticed he was wearing a white uniform, so I thought maybe he was still studying or doing some kind of internship. I asked him, “Are you still studying?”
He said no, he’s already working.
Turns out he works at an automotive company as technical support. It’s a decent job, nothing wrong with it, but from what he told me, he earns a lot less than what I currently make.
I’ll admit something here: the moment he told me that, the memory of what he said years ago immediately came back to my mind.
So I said something along the lines of, “Oh, that’s cool. At least you didn’t end up as a computer shop attendant like you said I would.”
He kind of went quiet after that and the conversation became awkward. Later I started wondering if maybe I shouldn’t have said that and just let the past stay in the past.
Part of me feels justified because what he did back then really hurt me and stuck with me for years. But another part of me thinks I might have been petty for bringing it up.
**So AITA for reminding him of what he said to me back then?**
NTA. that wasn’t even that harsh honestly. you just quoted his own words back to him lol.
he said it, not you. if hearing his own insult repeated back years later made him uncomfortable then maybe he should’ve never said it in the first place.
Soft YTA. I think most people would say what he did back then was immature and pretty shitty, but bringing it up years later when he wasn’t attacking you in that moment just comes off as a bit petty. It sounds like you’ve done well for yourself and moved forward, which honestly already proves him wrong without needing to say anything.
It’s understandable that the memory stuck with you, especially if it hurt at the time. But most people would probably think the better “win” would’ve been just being polite and moving on with your life. The fact that you’re doing well now already speaks louder than a comeback years later.
Is there a category for “You Were A Little Bit Of An Asshole”?
Anyway, it was a petty thing to say but not the worst thing in the world.
Mild YTA.
You carried that line around for years waiting for the comeback moment. The real win would have been not caring anymore.
NTA, this is the kind of pettiness I can get behind!
Guy said what he said when he was a child, probably projecting his own fears onto others. OP said this to him as an adult after seeing that that guy’s life isn’t going that well. Idk honestly but ESH at the very least
NTA. What he did was petty and he was also a bully. Petty gets what petty deserves 💅
Petty and deserved, yes. Assholey, not even a lil bit. NTA.
The fact this bothers you tells you your behavior was beneath your expectations for yourself. How you treat others shapes you. If you see him again apologize and explain that his comment had rattled around in your head. BTW. High school kids project their own fears for themselves.
>The fact this bothers you tells you your behavior was beneath your expectations for yourself.
What a great turn of phrase.
OP, your old school friend is absolutely an asshole, no denying that. But it sounds like maybe you regret lowering yourself to that level. He definitely started what you finished, but I’d say a soft YTA for clapping back.
This is empathetic and really beautifully said
And as I tell my teenagers, nobody is their best self in middle or high school. I said something that I thought was funny to a teammate & friend when I misheard a comment in HS, and it actually was both low-key mean and embarrassing. It weighed on me for YEARS and I finally got to apologize to her at our 20th reunion or something.
It’s entirely possible that this guy felt crappy after saying it for years
Rare maturity on this sub
I’m 80.
Yeah, YTA here. It was probably very satisfying to say, but you took a conversation to a hurtful place due to your being hurt in the past. That makes it very understandable and perhaps even justified, but still AH territory.
If you want a litmus test for being an AH, if you’re punching down you are one. If you’re punching up you’re not.