TLDR: neighbor lets dog do its business on connected patio. AITA for making a complaint to the board instead of talking to them first?
So my wife and I just moved into a new townhouse a couple weeks ago. Our nextdoor neighbors have a small dog and they let it out without a leash to do his business in front of our door/patio. They usually clean everything up, but it’s still pretty gross and smelly. I get that not having a yard sucks, but I also own a dog and I take my dog off the property to do his business.
A few days after moving in we also found out they let their dog do its business on the second floor balcony and they don’t clean it up. Our balconies are connected and only separated by a glass pane. This was really gross to find out and my wife and I were disgusted. When the snow melts, it’s going to drip down on people walking below and probably end up on to our side of the balcony too.
We just wrote an email to the board to complain. I sorta feel bad for not just talking to them about the issue, but at the same time I feel like it’s so insane that they let their dog do that and it’s not my responsibility to teach you to have basic courtesy/respect for your neighbors. I also don’t like confrontation so that might be part of it lol.
So AITA?
NTA. Anyone who would do this is unlikely to respond normally and favorably to logical engagement.
Soft YTA. Your annoyance is warranted, but it would have been better to talk with them first and give them a chance to correct their behavior. If you had never said anything to them, they likely didn’t know you had a problem with it to begin with. Now there may be bad blood between you two and things start being awkward.
I think you definitely could’ve talked to them first but I don’t think you’re an AH for complaining to the board since it’s basic etiquette for them not to let their dog do that for everyone to see
NTA, but do not expect friendly neighbors or warm hellos.
NTA. Oh I sincerely doubt this will avoid a confrontation. Like it or not, it sometimes comes.
I mean, talking to them first is ideal, becuase it’s going to get back to them about the complaint and it’s clearly you…so that will make it even MORE awkward than just having the conversation to begin with.
No one likes awkward conversations, I get it….but you can start with ‘so I know this is touchy, we both have dogs and we know the difficulty of living in close quarters. We’ve been ok with you letting your dog off leash and picking up after him, we aren’t happy he goes in our yard but you’ve been really good about it so far. What we’d like to ask you to not do anymore is let your dog do his business on the balcony (then explain the reasons)…I don’t actually know if there are any condo rules about it but it’s just really unpleasant and we’re just asking you as neighbours to stop doing it’
NTA but as someone in a condo, talking to them first is always better. I did this with a neighbor about a barking dog. Our building is strict on that. After a few days of no action, then I had to put in a soft complaint. Never had an issue again.
Soft YTA. It’s not the end of the world, and the talk probably wouldn’t have gone well, BUT you should still have given it a shot first. It’s common courtesy.
NTA.
They’re creating a health hazard, one that needs to be reported to the HOA.
From experience, going straight to the source is usually a bad idea. It more often than not results in aggression and just uncomfortable confrontation. I feel like you did what most would do. NTA
Normally I’m a “talk to the person first” type, but this is just straight disgusting and rude. The world is becoming more and more full of people who do rude stuff and expect others to say something to them if there’s a problem. No. That’s not how it works. How it works is we are supposed to be courteous and respectful in shared spaces. And anyone this inconsiderate doesn’t deserve the conversation first. NTA
NTA, agree that anyone who does something that out of pocket in the first place probably couldn’t be reasoned with and you’d need someone with more authority to step in.