My sister (46f) texted me (35m) seemingly out of the blue if I could help her because she got pulled over with expired tags. She said they let her off with a warning but the ticket cost $200.
In California, a fix-it ticket is $25 and you just need to go to the court and show proof of whatever was fixed.
We have a decent relationship but I maybe hear from her every few months or so.
She mentioned her daughters have already helped her a lot and she is not working and on government assistance.
I’m in a position to help and normally would be happy to do so but I don’t like that it seemed pretty random to message me and immediately ask for money and grew suspicious it’s not for the reason she told me. I also don’t want to open the flood gates of this being more than a one time thing.
AITA if I told her that it is a lot of money that and she should contact the court to see about getting it reduced and setting up a payment plan?
NAH. You can just say no.
So, if the tag is really overdue, then with court fees and everything a $25 ‘fix-it’ ticket can become $100-$200, so it’s possible her ticket will end up costing her that much.
Even if that’s the case, you’re NTA. You have no obligation to cover her ticket, especially when she could have kept her tags up to date and avoided getting it in the first place.
**If** you do decide to help her, or anyone else, in the future, I highly recommend asking for a way to pay the court or DMV or whoever yourself, so you’re not sending money directly to your sister. It cuts out a lot of scamming without directly calling them on it. I have relatives who only ever seem to get in touch when suddenly their kid has a fundraiser or they need to get repairs done on their car, and I always ask for the info to send money directly to the kids’ fundraiser or the mechanic or whoever else… and suddenly it’s “oh, let me get back to you,” and I don’t hear about it again.
NTA. I would say “Send me a copy of the bill first.”
If she can fix the ticket with $25 while squeezing $200 out of you, then she’s $175 to the good. Tell her that if she fixes the issue and pays the $25, you will refund the $25 upon seeing the receipt for her payment.
NTA.
NTA. After being burned a few times, I have a rule when it comes to situations like this… I say straight up that if I do loan money, it will be the one and only time, even follow up with a text so it’s in writing and can reference later if needed. I also would still have her call and see if she can have it reduced, she should do some due diligence before taking money from family.
Good luck… you are correct that this could open a floodgate, so set the boundary now whatever you do.
NTA. I’d ask her why she needs $200 when a fix-it ticket is usually $25. Is she asking for $200 so you can also cover the fee for the inspection or a needed repair?
No is also a complete sentence.
I’d personally want to know if she was lying. If that ticket type is truly $25, why is hers so high? Did you do anything else wrong or is she trying to finesse you? You don’t have to give her any or all of it though. It would just matter to me if she was lying
NTA. You are most likely right to go with your instincts. A 46 year old shouldn’t have to call around asking for $200 or be needing money from their own children.
NTA. Any chance it’s a scam?
“They let her off with a warning”
“the ticket cost $200”
Those 2 sentences contradict each other. If they let you off with a warning, there is no fine. Her story does not add up.
How does a warning cost any money at all??
Offer to pay the ticket for her. You should be able to pay the ticket online- have her send you a picture and you can pay it directly.
I have a stepdaughter who used to ask for money because she was diabetic and needed $$ to cover her supplies. We told her that we would pay her pharmacy costs directly. She got angry and didn’t need anything after that. 🤷♀️
Edit: NTA
How did she get a ticket if they “let her off with a warning“? Genuinely confused.
It’s sad, but she’s obviously lying. She probably feels she has to lie to get by.
You could give her money, but would it actually fix her situation? If she’s getting money from her kids, then maybe she needs a bit of an intervention? Is it bad luck or bad decisions?