I’m 28F and I honestly don’t even know where to start.
I was dealing with this guy (25M) for about a year. He constantly reassured me, talked about a future, and eventually asked me to be his girlfriend.
Come to find out, this man was:
• married
• had a baby with his wife
• had another baby with a different woman
• and was living multiple lives at the same time
The craziest part?
The SAME day he asked me to be his girlfriend… he PROPOSED to his wife.
Same outfit. Same day. Same man.
I had absolutely no idea.
And before anyone assumes anything their situation wasn’t some long, stable relationship either.
They had only known each other a short time before getting pregnant and engaged, and only actually lived together for a few months. Now they’re long distance and barely even see each other since he moved.
So no, she didn’t have some completely different “solid” situation than me.
To make it worse, I am currently 7 months pregnant… and he has barely spoken to me throughout this entire pregnancy.
When I found out everything, I reached out to his wife thinking we could at least be on the same page since we were both being lied to.
Instead, she harassed me for months.
I’m talking:
• fake numbers
• burner pages
• her friends contacting me
• constant messages
At one point she was even wishing death on me and my baby.
It got so bad that I had to make all of my pages private because I got tired of blocking new accounts.
Despite all of that, she still chose to stay with him and now posts like everything between them is perfect.
That’s honestly what irritates me the most.
Not because I want him (I don’t), but because:
• he lied to both of us and is just living life like nothing happened
• she acts like she “won” when he literally cheated on her multiple times
• and I regret even engaging with her at all
I feel like if I would’ve just said my piece and blocked her, I’d feel way better about everything.
Now here’s where I might sound crazy:
Part of me wants to have my friend reach out to her pretending to be another girl he’s been dealing with just so she can see that this is who he really is and that I wasn’t some one-off situation.
I know it’s messy. I know it’s petty.
But I feel like everything ended so unfairly and I didn’t get any type of closure or “get back.”
Am I wrong for feeling like this?
Just get his ass to pay child support if adoption isn’t on the table and walk away from this shtstrm. This guy is a player clearly and find someone who will really love you for you. Block the jealous that knew he was a cheater all along and taking it out on you when should be taken out on him. Don’t even respond, they’re not worth it. Your revenge is the fact that you’re free and they’re still wrapped up in it trying to trap a wild animal that doesn’t want to be caught. Send an anonymous letter if you’re really that hellbent but it’s not worth it, you won’t gain anything except staying in the maelstrom. You won’t be happy until you are free. Best wishes to you. You don’t want a guy like this that you always have to doubt and never trust. And you know already he is a cheater.
Yta
YWBTA
Obligatory: JERRY JERRY JERRY!!!
YTA on so many levels. Your ex could go to any country with low fertility rates and repopulate the country single handed/s
YWBTA if you asked/had your friend to do it. You’d be opening your friend to the same kind of harassment you’ve received, and since your friend would be lying it makes you and your claim of your child’s father look more suspicious, and make you look crazier. The wife is not going to be persuaded by a second person, she doesn’t want to believe her husbands a bad person, so she won’t.
You’re in a shitty situation and you aren’t an AH for WANTING to do it but it’s a terrible idea and won’t do what you want and won’t make your situation better.
YTA, it won’t do any good to catfish her, she’s determined to be clueless.
YWBTA.
You’re about to have a child with this guy. Be the better person. She is clearly willing to pretend this isn’t happening so leave her to it. Do what you need to do to protect you and your child and get that child support. If he wants shared custody you’re going to be coparenting with them, don’t make your child or your life harder
YWBTA Just go after him for child support.
Just wash your hands of it
There’s a couple of things you should learn. First, no matter how much you try to tell her the truth, her belief that you are lying or that he is a good guy, will only strengthen. It’s called cognitive dissonance. The person will reject all evidence that doesn’t fit with her view. There’s also confirmation bias, which is when someone only seeks out the information that confirms their belief and ignores everything else that says otherwise.
So you having a friend call and pretend to be some other woman would be pointless. This woman will only believe what she wants to, no matter what.
Just get child support and move on with your life. This man and woman are not worth your time. You have much more important things to do; like focus on that baby.
YTA. Bringing your friend into your drama will only lead to her getting the same kind of harassment you have received. It’s clear she’s chosen to stay delusional and pretend things are perfect, so this wouldn’t help. Best case scenario is if you know any of the other women that he was with to gather them all so you can confront them together with people who have plenty of evidence of his cheating ways.
Go on the local FB page for “ Are We Dating The Same Guy “. Post his pic and see how many other girls are or have seen his dating apps then SS send it along anonymously.