I’m in college rooming with my best friend from hs, but our relationship seems to be getting strained. They like to buy furniture or household decorations for the living room and get mad when I don’t split the cost with them. The thing is that I am very adamant about not wanting to buy those things and they buy it anyways and expect me to pay up. They grew up extremely rich(millionaire parents) and I grew up poor, so they accuse me of being stingy and greedy. They also get angry at me for not sharing the food I buy and make for myself. This past week, they’ve made two meals using exclusively my ingredients and saying “it’s payback for the decor”. I understand where they are coming from because I benefit from the items in the shared space, but I idk
NTA. You need to establish some house rules or this will end badly for your friendship
NTA
Your roommate is an entitled AH.
No, you should not pay for any purchase you did not agree to ahead of time. No, he should not be eating your food without your permission.
> I understand where they are coming from…
No. You shouldn’t. Your spoiled, entitled AH for a roommate needs to understand that he can not unilaterally decide how you spend your money.
And being frugal is a value, not a vice.
NTA. If you made it clear you aren’t interested then of course you shouldn’t be expected to reimburse them. And if they’re stealing your food in retaliation, that’s just straight up theft.
They have NO right to demand that you pay for something you don’t want. And if suggest getting a lock box for your food. It’s technically theft them taking it but it’s not likely to lead to much happening if you report it.
NTA. Your roommate is being a spoiled entitled child.
When I had roommates it was sometimes easier for each of us to buy/provide in some way different items so when we moved out we didn’t have to figure out how split it all up. They bought living room furniture that will be theirs when at some point you don’t live together anymore.
NTA. You didn’t agree to the furniture. They purchased it without your consent, you aren’t obligated to pay for it. Tell your roommate that they can keep everything they purchased once you move out. (And if you chip in, you will be taking half the furniture with you when you leave.)
Stealing your food in retaliation isn’t cool.
You should start looking for somewhere else to live. (And find a roommate who respects you.) If you’re living on campus or leased housing through your school, contact your school and asking about switching to a different location.
NTA. You need to sit your friend down and explain that you are absolutely not willing to pay for anything unless they ask you first whether you will split it with them. Ask them how they would feel if you just bought something they didn’t want and demanded payment for it. It’s not greedy to not want someone else to decide how to spend your own money, especially if you don’t have that much.
Additionally, with permanent furnishings in a roommate situation, you actually don’t want to be splitting costs on individual items. That just makes it much harder to figure out who gets what when you eventually move out. If you pay half for these decorations now, is roomie going to pay you back when they want to take them when they move out? That’s a pain. Better to have outright ownership in the first place.
NTA
Real simple question: Are you taking half of the couch with you when you leave? If not, then why on Earth would you pay for half of it?
Sit him down and explain that you don’t have the money to deal with decorating and food theft. If he’s not 100% in agreement to stop it, make different plans for the next school year.
NTA “I won’t pay for it because it’s your stuff that you decided to put around the house and when we move you’ll take it with you because i never wanted it. You are the one with debts, stop eating my food”
NTA. I would start looking for a different living situation. Maybe once they have another roommate that they have the same issue with, they will start to realize they are the problem, not you.
NTA
If something is going to be split, both parties should agree to whatever is being purchased.
You’re not “benefiting” from the decor. You didn’t ask for it, you don’t like it, and it’s not something you plan to take with you when you leave.
You’re being bullied. Your roommate is attempting to steamroll over you and you need to put a stop to it. First of all make a crystal clear that you are not paying for any furnishings that she buys what she buy is of her own accord has nothing to do with you. Secondly, she does not pay herself back by stealing your food. You’re on a budget and if it keeps happening, you need to report it to your RA. I’d just get up in her face to be honest.
Using your groceries as payback is actually wild. Food is expensive and you didn’t wrong them. They made a purchase without consent; that’s their fault.
I had a friend/housemate like this. She came from a very privileged family. They owned a chain of very successful stores. She brought home a beautiful piece of clothing she thought would look good on me. She wanted me to pay for it. I had no money. I was going to school and working evenings and weekends, barely getting by. I refused to pay. She kept insisting for months. Said I “owed” her because she couldn’t return it. I said, “then you shouldn’t have bought it without checking with me first.” The amount it cost was trivial to her but huge to me.
The friendship didn’t last.