I (23F) recently resigned from my job because of mental and physical health issues. My mom knew what was happening and helped me with small expenses while I was waiting for my last paycheck. I appreciated it and told her I’d buy her something nice as gratitude once I’m back on my feet.
The problem is she keeps insisting on taking a chunk of my salary whenever I have an income, even though she works full time and I’m currently jobless. This isn’t new. Even when I was in college and had a very small part time income, she would still ask me for money despite earning a much larger salary than I did.
She even asked me for 13 dollars to cover one of her subscriptions. It made me wonder how she’s actually spending her money if she needs that amount from me while I’m unemployed.
My dad helped me with my mobile payment and said I can pay him back when I get a new job. But my mom wants money now and says I’m ungrateful and disrespectful for saying no. When I try to set a boundary, she complains to my dad and paints me as a bad daughter because I’m selfish for not wanting to give her money. I want to be financially responsible and spend on something on monthly expenses. I don’t want to depend on my parents at all.
I don’t mind helping my parents when I’m stable, but I don’t understand why she’s so adamant about taking money from me when I genuinely have no job and she does.
AITA for saying no?
At 23, if you have any disposable income, you should be contributing to the household by way of an amount of rent.it teaches younger people the value of money and even while you were in college, small rent contributions seem fair.
If you have no income, because of illness, then it would seem a little unfair for parents to ask for any rent money. Asking for money to cover a specific outgoing not incurred by you is really odd. Don’t say no out of hand but talk to your mother instead about how much money you do or don’t have and a fair way if going forward. You can’t plan anything financially if you’re being asked to give up odd sums of money here and then on an ad hoc basis.
INFO If you have no money at all, how were you intending to get her a gift? I assume you have a small lump sum set by. If she insists, use this for the subscription and say that that’s her gift. However, you need a proper agreement about future money going forward, NAH.
Right now, I have enough money to survive around 5-6 months-ish, but only if I budget very carefully. That money has to cover all my monthly bills because I’m unemployed and the job market here is really difficult. When I *did* have a job, I helped pay house bills regularly and I want to stay responsible with whatever I earn. My mom already knows exactly how much I have saved, which is why it feels unfair that she keeps asking for money when she has her own salary and allowances while I don’t have a job right now
**INFO response:**
1. The gift I mentioned would come from my last resignation pay. It’s a small amount I set aside specifically as a thank you, not something big or expensive.
My intention was to give her a small gratitude gift, not a large chunk of my savings. She insists on a big amount that would put my monthly survival at risk. I’ve tried to set boundaries but she really dislikes that I’m not giving in to what she wants.