Hello Reddit,
I am in my early thirties and I work full time from home in a demanding position. My days are packed with calls and deadlines, and I cannot just step away whenever someone needs something, even if my family sometimes acts like I can.
Lately, I have started getting this uneasy feeling whenever my sister’s name pops up on my phone. I love her and I love her kids, so it is not about that. It is more the quiet expectation behind the calls, the sense that she already assumes I will say yes. Being the only one in the family without children somehow made me the flexible one, the available one, the person who is supposed to rearrange things because I do not have a family of my own.
At first, helping felt natural. I enjoy her kids and I want to support her. But over time it turned into several times a month, usually with little to no notice. I kept telling myself she must be overwhelmed, and that I should be understanding. Still, every time she brushed aside my schedule with a quick you are home anyway, something inside me tightened. I started feeling less like a sibling and more like a convenient option.
On Friday, she called right in the middle of an important meeting. When I said I could not babysit, she snapped and told me to stop pretending I have a real job because I just sit at my computer all day. Hearing that caught me completely off guard. It was the moment all the small frustrations finally spilled over.
I told her that if she honestly believes my work is not real, then she should stop relying on me as free childcare. I said I will not babysit again until she apologizes and respects my time.
My parents think I overreacted and insist that family should always step in. I cannot shake the way that conversation made me feel, like my time and my work mean nothing.
AITA for stepping back until my sister apologizes? Am I overreacting? I am sitting here two days later and it feels like a small personal crisis.
NTA
You wouldn’t be the AH even if you had no job and simply didn’t want to do it.
Tell your family that you’ll no longer be answering calls during work hours.
NTA.
Remote work is real work and should be respected.
Maybe the people who think family should always step in should step in now and handle the emergency babysitting.
NTA – people forget that the W in WFH stands for WORK !!
Tell your parents you’ll let your sister know they are on board to babysit from now on.
NTA Tell your parents that it’s fantastic they’re offering to babysit, since family should help.
Also, remind them that your only condition was that the sister apologize for shitty behavior, that’s all. Family helps family by teaching grown up behavior, too.
NTA
Are you serious? You can’t *possibly* think you’re in the wrong here. Come on.
NTA — the fastest way to lose free help is to treat it like an obligation, and your sister calling your full-time job “not real work” while expecting you to drop everything for last-minute babysitting is exactly why you were right to draw a line; “you’re home anyway” isn’t a pass to disrespect your time, and until she can acknowledge that you’re not her on-demand childcare service, stepping back isn’t petty — it’s the first time someone has actually held her accountable.
NTA. It’s wild how often people think WFH isn’t a job.. the main difference is that you just don’t go to an office. I have an aunt who randomly asked me, “why don’t you get a job? Does your remote work even pay you enough?” – I was confused and very offended.
NTA she sounds sort of obnoxious, hope this isn’t her norm… but she is not entitled to your unlimited time and attention and your parents sounds like they’ve possibly enabled/ encouraged her to have unrealistic expectations.
Read this before
You can’t step in, you’re at work. She needs someone to help watch the kids, but you’re not available.
NTA
OMG..these sisters and their WFH jobs and kids….How many are going to write here 🤣🤣
Why did you answer the phone in the middle of an important meeting?