Me and my spouse are in our early 30s and currently house-hunting new builds. A friend (Nat) heard about this and messaged us saying it’s perfect that we’re in the market because their parents are moving to their homeland and are looking for buyers. I politely declined and said we’ve got our eyes set on new builds. Nat, then, got defensive, stated that his parents’ 2-story home is beautiful and continued to list all the pros individually. All of which are true. I responded and said (1) we want to be the first home owners 🤷🏻♀️ , (2) we only want to remodel/make changes once (in our late 50s, right before retirement age), (3) we specifically wanted a single story home because this will be a forever home and don’t want stairs in our old age, (4) new builds we’re looking at and his parents’ house are the same price (though their home is WAY bigger) – and that’s without updating this and that to make their home our home, (5) the home was built in 1950s so foundations, pipes, etc are all questionable to us at this point. But Nat focused on that last line (questionable) and is now calling us AHs and people like us are the reason why his parents’ house has been in the market for more than 90 days “but new builds are being reserved and purchased left and right.” I don’t think we’re the AHs but another friend said “he does have a point.” This friend doesn’t necessarily think we’re AHs but telling us “he has a point” started to make me question our intentions. Are we the AHs?
NTA obviously. Why would you make the biggest purchase of your life based on a friend’s convenience rather than your preference?
I’d just ignore/cut them out unless they’re particularly close to you.
NTA. Nat is also not your friend if they are resorting to calling you AHs for not wanting to buy their parent’s house. What spoiled behavior.
NTA. Your friend is an idiot. The reason their home is on the market for over 90 days is that it is overpriced. Why spend for a 75 year old home when you can get a new build for the same price? If they lower their asking price, they will sell their home.
I mean, let’s not pretend the new home will be better built, in fact it’s probably full of plywood with dorito bags in the walls and a pile of concrete and trash with sod over it in the backyard. But OP can make their choice however they like.
Ah but asbestos and lead paint are so nice, too. There’s pros and cons to both.
I would imagine the older home is built better, honestly
If their house isn’t selling, they are asking too much $. They need to reset their expectations and stop taking their frustrations with their own bad decisions on you.
right! NTA. Also like can we get some sort of friendship discount? If she’s not offering that they can definitely piss off 😅 respectfully. A house is a huge decision, trust your gut!
NTA. But this is the perfect example of why you shouldn’t give people a long explanation—rather than seeing your reasons and agreeing with you, it gives them more things to potentially latch on to and argue with you about.
Just say No. or No, but I’m sure their home will make some family very happy. Rinse, repeat, engage no further.
Indeed. “No” is a complete answer.
In this case, I think: “No, we only want a bungalow,” would suffice. There was way too much explaining going on in OP’s answer.
NTA, but I would really rethink wanting to go with a new build. Everyone I know who has purchased a new build has had to do MAJOR renovations within a year of living in them. I’m talking down to the studs renovation because they were so shoddily built. The truth of the matter is that a lot of new builds are not built as well as older homes. So, just be aware of that possibility.
“They don’t build em like they used to” is very very true for houses these days.
That being said, I wouldn’t buy this place. A house that’s been on the market for 90 days with no bites that needs the child of the owners to try and force people to buy it probably has some very serious flaws. And Nat does not sound like they would take too kindly to a building inspection even being made, but would also take offense if those very serious flaws were found.
Putting the fact that I think most new builds are garbage and I’d take an older home any day of the week aside… you do not owe Nat an explanation. Stop giving him reasons/excuses as to why you do not want to buy his parents’ home. “Your parents’ house is not what we are looking for.” End of story. If he keeps pestering you, block him. NTA.