Hi so basically I’m a dude who recently stopped drinking for personal reasons and basically when I told my friend group they all decided that me just hanging out sober is too weird so they all collectively decided to give me a "new job". Practically everyone has started to just assume I’m the Designated Driver every single time we go out and it starting to piss me off. I have told them many times that I actually don’t mind driving sometimes but I don’t want to be the default just because I’m not drinking. Then even a few of their girlfriends are calling me "DD" and I get a lil pissed off and tell everybody if they could please just let me take an Uber sometimes as polite as I possibly can. Everyone told me I was being selfish and have started to just hand me their keys without asking just to annoy me. Like "Come on DD, you know the drill." Every time I bring up wanting to be treated like a normal friend and not a free taxi service they all roll there eyes and give me snarky comments. Of course I do like my friends and they’re all great but it does slightly piss me off. Am I being selfish or do I have a fair point??
NTA. that’s so frustrating. it’s not about the driving, it’s about the assumption and the total lack of respect for your own choices. they’re treating you like a service instead of a friend who made a personal decision
NTA. Your friends kinda suck. As someone also sober for personal reasons, I definitely had a friend or two that treated me like this at first. However after pointing it out to them, they realized they were being dicks and they stopped! Your friends are pretty messed up for rolling their eyes or back-talking you about this.
So basically they’re tolerating your sober presence as long as they get something. With friends like these…
Yeah, this isn’t a case where OP needs to have an honest conversation about his feelings, this is a case where he needs better friends.
I assume OP and his friends are reasonably young, but life is too short to hang out with people who hear you say “Hey, I don’t like it when you do this and it makes me feel bad” and decide to do the thing more. I regret continuing to spend time with people who did that in the past.
Sorry dude, I think you need better friends. They are definitely taking advantage of you. NTA
If you’re going to be treated as an Uber, start charging.
NTA
Congrats on quitting drinking, it’s not easy to do. As for your friends, they are really taking advantage of you, not to mention the clear lack of respect, so it’s time to put a stop to it. When they hand you their keys, you hand them back. Maybe stop hanging out with them for a while too and see if they’re really true friends, or if they were mainly just your drinking buddies.
Sometimes when someone stops drinking, their friend group changes. I mean they told you flat out that hanging out when you’re sober is weird, so could be you don’t really know them unless they’re drinking.
Great job quitting drinking! You may need to change up your activities with your friends that don’t revolve around alcohol. Of if you feel like they only view as a free Uber, maybe take a break and find other folks that appreciate you, and not your vehicle.
NTA. Simple fix: if they want to treat you as a taxi, start charging them. That way, they either stop using you as a DD or you at least get paid when you guys go out. Snarky comments? Sorry but they don’t get a ride anymore.
So when they hand their keys to you, act like you’ll take them and let them hit the floor. Repeat, as many times as necessary, until they get the point.
ETA: NTA
Find new friends these people suck
Should really change the friend group… NTA
NTA. Because I can be a petty little shit, I would ask the bartender for 3 water shots, tell everyone it’s vodka, down them in front of everyone, then shrug and say, “Sorry can’t drive tonight”.
Why do you feel that you need your friends’ permissions to take an Uber?
I don’t get it.
Just do your thing, dude. Fuck everyone else.