My fiance (27m) is part of a friend group with his twin(ill call him Paul), a male friend (let’s call him Tim), a female friend (let’s call her Stacy) and two other female friends. I (25f) am also friends with Stacy outside of this friend group.
For my fiances 25 birthday, he abd his twin decided to plan a trip to a nearby city. They planned this trip with Tim, who they haven’t seen in person in years. Myself and Paul’s girlfriend were also included though we had no part in the planning. Tim also brought a girl he know that lives in the city we visited.
A couple weeks before the trip, my fiance ask me of I had spoken to Stacy about the trip. When I said no he told me she was also planning a solo trip to that city for the same weekend but had canceled it. He told me to ask her about it, my response was that since she hadn’t brought it up and it was already canceled there was no point. Additionally, I pointed out that he, Paul, or Tim could talk to her if they wanted to. (Tim and Stacy are really close)
I’ll also add she never asked what the birthday plans for my fiance were. And the last couple of times I spoke with her I never had a chance to talk about what was going on in my life, nor did she ask. A couple weeks before the trip I saw her for her birthday and she wanted to keep the focus in her day, which Im completely ok with. The next time I saw her like a week later, she was upset about a guy not working out. So we focused kn that. We do not have the type of friendship where we text or call consistently so I dodnt have another opportunity before the trip.
Fast forward. We go on the trip and have fun. A few days later Stacy leaves their friends chat upset saying she doesn’t want to hear about a trip she wasn’t a part of. My fiance is asking me why I never asked her to join us. So now I’m really confused. I thought she would feel uncomfortable being woth a bunch of couples and her trip was canceled.
AITA for not inviting her?
Note she hasn’t said anything to me directly
So you had no part in planning or inviting people on this trip, and now your fiancé is asking why you didn’t invite someone in his friend group? Regardless of you being friends with her outside of their group, you’re NTA. It’s not you’re responsibility to invite their friends to the trip they planned… I can totally see why “stacy” is upset, and it’s unsettling your fiancé is trying to pass this off on you for some reason. I mean if they have a group chat why didn’t they just invite the whole chat? That’s how my friends do it… Like sure, you don’t need to invite everyone to everything, but for a birthday trip why not? The way I see it, either there’s a reason they didn’t invite her, or they just forgot, either way, that’s on your fiancé and his brother.
NTA. You made it clear that the men had organized this party, it wasn’t really your place to invite her or not. If she had been a great friend I’d understand if you’d asked your fiancee but it doesn’t really sound like you were close.
NTA. You weren’t responsible for coordinating Stacy’s attendance, and you had no reason to assume she wanted to join a group trip full of couples after canceling her own plans. She hasn’t communicated any expectation directly to you, so it’s unfair for your fiancé to place the blame on you. You handled it reasonably.