So I (18M) recently got my license and a cheap used car. My sister (22F) doesn’t drive and relies on public transport, which is fine except her job starts super early and buses are unreliable. She asked if I could start dropping her off on my way to TAFE since her work is only “a tiny bit” out of the way.
At first, I didn’t mind. It added maybe 8 minutes to my drive. She said she’d be ready at 6:40am every morning. Cool.
Except… she never is.
The first week, she made me late twice. I tried waking her up, reminding her, standing at her door telling her we needed to go. She’d take ages doing her hair or looking for her uniform. When I said she had to hurry, she’d snap at me that I was “making her anxious.”
Because of this, I ended up being late to TAFE and got pulled up by my instructor. When I explained, he told me bluntly that it wasn’t his problem and I needed to sort out my priorities.
You do have your priorities NTA.
Hear me out if you want a middle path. You still could drop her off. But by 640 if she is not ready, you are leaving and you will not warn her. She can take the public bus after that.
Tell her you’re leaving at 6:40. If she’s not ready, she doesn’t get a ride. NTA- you’re her brother, not her chauffeur.
Here’s what you do. Tell her you’ll only take her to work if she is ready to leave on time and tell her that If she is not on time then you’re leaving without her. Then do exactly that.
I would make sure to tell her this in front of parents. Also send it in a group chat. Otherwise she’s going to find a way to flip it on you and make you the bad guy.
NTA
You are NTA! Tell her what time you are leaving and leave then. It is unfair for her to make you late. She will learn quickly that she needs to get her ass in gear if she wants to ride with you.
NTA – Tell her you’re on a schedule and will be pulling out of the driveway at exactly 6:42 am. If she’s not sitting in the passenger seat she’s getting left behind.
NTA
As long as you stated that you are leaving at this time with or without her in the car, then she has nothing to complain about. Prioritize yourself!
Do not set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm!
Your instructor is correct. You’re not her parent, you tell her you’re leaving at 6.40am and you leave whether she’s there or not. It’s her responsibility to get herself to work she shouldn’t have taken a job if she couldn’t get there. NTA.
NTA
Tell her you are leaving at x time. If she wants a lift she will be in the car. If she is not in the car leave without her.
NTA. Your instructor is correct: you have your own responsibilities. If she can’t be ready in time, she can find her own way to work.
Set a time, and tell her that you’ll be leaving at that time, and if she wants a ride, she should be in the car. Remind her five minutes before. If she’s not in the car by the time you’ve set, leave without her. She’ll eventually figure it out. Or she won’t, but it’s not your problem.
NTA.
Tell her you’ll continue to drive her if she’s ready at 6:40 sharp. Not one minute later.
More importantly though, stop waking her up or hurrying her up. If she isn’t ready (you decide and tell her if this means standing at the front door at 6:40) you’re gone.
because people can never be bothered to explain acronyms: TAFE is a government-run system in Australia that provides education after high school in vocational areas like beauty, design, childcare, accounting, business, recruitment, IT, and many more.
NTA. Your sister had her job before you were giving her a ride so she can continue as she was now that you are no longer giving her a ride.
Stop waking her up, stop standing outside her door. Tell her the time you’re leaving, and that if she’s in the car she gets to go with you, t you go alone. She’ll figure it out pretty quick or she’ll start taking the bus. She’s 100% not your responsibility, and it’s incredibly nice of you to offer her a ride.