To Start With I Am 22M And SIL 25F. We both enjoy cooking very much, we cook together a lot, And decided to host thanksgiving. We do already have one medium size turkey on hand. My SIL tends to take care of cooking the turkey along with many sides, I had to skip out on the past 3 last thanksgiving, so I always came back to leftovers and didn’t always get the full amount of fill. This year I made sure to have this thanksgiving off to be there along with everyone else. Last year I came home to not very much turkey, and the turkey was roughly same size as that year. Already skeptical about portions.
Luckily our local neighbor passed out free turkey for families, and my SIL open the door and took the turkey. I was happy to hear about the second turkey when I got home. My dad bought the original one and now we had that second one donated for our house.
The issue comes along with the plans of the second one, My SIL states she already planned on taking donated turkey to cook at a friends giving. I disagree saying We/I can cook it along with the first one and have more for us on thanksgiving. Her argument is she is entitled to the turkey because “she open the door and they handed the turkey to her.” I told her thats not fair cause it wasn’t meant for her alone but the household. We all are “Adults”. I think should have a opinion on what to do with the 2nd turkey. She calling me selfish and stated she will only let me have 2nd turkey to cook, If I go halfs on a 3rd Turkey for her “Friends giving”. I said your friends should be going halfs and got called selfish again.
Conversation Ended
Am I The Asshole For Wanting To Cook A Second Turkey That Was Donated.
Summary:SIL Wants Second Turkey To Take To “FriendsGiving”, I Want To Make 2 Turkeys, Due To Low Amount Of Leftovers From Last Year.
NTA. Why are her friends not buying a turkey for their own gathering?
Indeed, usually the person who is hosting a potluck dinner will provide the main dish. For Thanksgiving and Friendsgiving dinners that means the turkey. Will SIL cook the bird at OP’s home or at the friend’s home?
NTA. The second turkey belongs to all members in the household
NTA. Your SIL wanted to be the star & savior of their friend day.
Turkey is not expensive, just go buy one and don’t share ( especially with SIL). . Though I think SIL is wrong about claiming something that was meant to be for the entire household. SIL is going to a party you are not, neither is the family so SIL needs to provide her own contribution to her Friendsgiving. Not sure if you will be able to convince the family to side with you but it sounds like SIL just is trying to avoid paying for her contribution to a party. Second turkey belongs to the family and should stay at the house. NTA
Y’all fighting over a turkey.
The true spirit of Thanksgiving of course.
I would say NTA. Part of a friends giving is everyone pitching in. Not someone bringing the entire turkey. Especially if the neighbor donated the turkey for a household. Even when I was in high school doing friends giving I wouldn’t have done that. Especially thinking about how there hasn’t been enough for everyone to have a good portion in past years, the turkey should be used for actual thanksgiving. Using the “finders keepers loser weepers” rule is childish and gross.
So is it your house or your parents house? If it’s your house it’s your turkey, if it’s your parents house then it’s their turkey and they are entitled to let your SIL have it.
Whoever owns the house owns the turkey, not the people who just happen to be there so your house, your turkey or her house, her turkey. Doesn’t matter what either of you planned if you don’t own the turkey.
NTA. The entire situation is so tacky. Drama over a free turkey. The turkey was a family gift. Your greedy cheap ass SIL can buy her own turkey for her friends.
What a bunch of turkeys! 🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃
SIL is the greedy selfish one. My petty ass would let her have the 2nd turkey but when it’s time to eat, i would carve up turkey, serve to everyone and make sure to give myself a giant share but her only a little bit. When she fusses, point out that she’s got the whole other 2nd turkey. NTA