for a little bit of back story me and this friend became close early last year and i didnt expect us to get close, i dont want to sound rude but i would class her and my best best friend but she is a very close friend of mine however she has done a few things that dont sit right with me. About april last year we both started working in the same workplace and things were going smoothly and we were both enjoying it so much a few months passed and i started to develop a crush on one of our co-workers, i used to tell her all the time how much i liked him and used to do the whole im going to marry him one day blah blah blah but then she started talking to him a lot as well and i didnt think much of it until she came up to me one day saying she was going on a date with him and this isnt the first time shes done this as well. i was hurt but i still stayed friends with her because i believe that friendship means more than boys. another month passed and they started dating and me and him were just strictly friends and then some stuff happened and she ended up moving in with me. we had separate rooms and my family wasnt at the house much so it was pretty much just me and her so obviously she would invite this guy over at least twice a week and it hurt a little seeing them together constantly. fast forward to about april this year she ended up moving out. in may her and this co-worker broke up over something silly and honestly there whole relationship was toxic in a way that she was way too dependent on him. She ended up quitting our workplace as well and finding somewhere else to go. me and this co-worker were still friends and she was okay with that but she was still obsessed over him and when he got a new girlfriend he ended up blocked me as well and i was really hurt that relationship only lasted like 2 or 3 weeks. now were in late October and i finally start talking to this co-worker again and again were getting quite close and now this day we have been falling asleep on call and talking constantly and i even had a dream about him last night so now im not sure what to do and i think i have feelings for him. I havent told her yet because they both still dont like eachother and i just know she will hate me for talking to him but she is also not the best friend ever. So am i the asshole?
NTA. I think it’s fair enough. You told her that you liked him first but she still chose to date him. She shouldn;t be surprised if you still like him
NTA for liking him, no.
There’s no such thing as calling dibs on people, same way as she wasn’t TA for dating him knowing you liked him.
That said, you witnessed him in two relationships: one that went down in a spiral or problems and one for which he cut you off without a second thought. If you think this is worth fighting for, go for it, but take a moment to think first.
this, definitely take a moment to think this over.
NTA. It sounds like she dated him because you liked him first, honestly. So much that I commend you for staying friends with her in the first place, because that just feels like a dirty-play on her part. But, at this point, you don’t owe her anything about him, especially if they were toxic and don’t like each other. That’s not on you.
I say go for it. He may or may not reciprocate your feelings, but you won’t know if you don’t say anything to him. And if your friend gets mad and stops being your friend, that’s her choice. As you get older, relationships may stay, or may just end, it is part of life. And the old-man advice comes from the fact that I don’t know your age, but you give me the vibe of late-teens/early 20s. And that is something I wish someone had told me when I was that young, that it’s ok if friendships end.
Go for it. She has no loyalty. If she ends up not speaking to her, you are better off.
YTA to yourself. If the guy liked you, he’d have made a move by now. He had months of time, but in that time, he dated your friend and roommate and blocked you when he started dating someone else. Take a hint.
You also said friendship is more important than relationship. Obviously not to you or your friend. She knew you liked him and dated him anyway and you know she dated him, is still obsessed with him and you want to throw yoir hat in the ring. You also said she’s your best friend, but at the end said she’s not the best friend ever.
So, own your stuff – you would do anything to be with this guy, including throwing away your friendships and self-respect.
Friendship is important. That makes HER ta for going after him knowing you liked him. I suspect it was on purpose. My best friend and I never went there without talking to the other. I dated one guy she had. We both only went out with him once. Once was too much. He wasn’t a bad person or anything. It’s just that he was among the loudest people we knew when in a group. Get him alone and he barely spoke. We had both tried open ended questions, etc.
I would want an explanation for his blocking you during the short relationship. Think about his answer before going further with this. Imo, it would be better left as friends. Whatever you do, take it slow. If it’s meant to be, you’ll get there.
NTA. Firstly I really can’t get why she dated with him when she knew ur feelings for him. Seriously? She called u a friend? Really? I’ve never dated guys that my friends like.Secondly he became friends with u but when he had a girlfriend he blocked u without a word and then he started getting close to u again when he is broke up. I mean It looks like you were a backup for him. One question, girl.
Why are u so mean to yourself?
ive since found out that he didnt even block me the girlfriend he had for 2 weeks was on his phone and she blocked me from his phone
its so weird oke
Iif he really likes u then go on
info: What are your ages?
NTA. The exact same thing happened to me my senior year of high school and she was definitely my best friend. I too, remained friends with her even though I was really hurt at first and felt uncomfortable in the beginning when they were together. So I understand where you are coming from there. I say if the two of you want to date then go ahead and try it. I would let her know beforehand though, don’t just do the same thing she did and tell her as it’s already in motion. If she has a problem with it, tell her that you’re sorry she feels that way but if she took a moment and thought back, she would recall that you had originally been telling her that you really liked him before she decided to go after him. Tell her you chose to stay her friend even though she disregarded your feelings and that she can either do the same or the friendship isn’t really that important to her to begin with. Sounds like you are, I’m guessing somewhere between 17-20 yrs old? If so, I can almost guarantee you that regardless of this particular guy, you two will not be friends 2 years from now. Mark my words. So go ahead and date him if the opportunity is there and see if it works out between you.
ESH. This whole thing sounds like high school drama. Both of you are wrong for trying to gatekeep this guy instead of just accepting that he will eventually make his own decision, and he’s wrong for taking forever to make up his mind on what he wants to do.