Sometimes my cat can get really aggressive for no discernible reason, or reasons that don’t include me specifically pissing him off. For example the other day I was petting him while in bed, and then went back to looking at my phone. It was dark so I couldn’t see him gear up at all so suddenly he smacked my face hard and drew blood.
Other times he’ll get angry if I don’t immediately go and sit down with him to eat or don’t let him go outside and he attacks my legs. Sometimes he does it once or twice, but other times it’ll be relentless.
I don’t swat him every time he throws a fit, but when he genuinely hurts me and is using way too much force, I will lightly bap him on his nose, or scruff him (I don’t pick him up by the scruff, just hold so he can’t bite me)
My logic is is that cats communicate like cats, and so I should level with him and communicate like a cat. I do this in other ways too, I’ll often make “k’k” noises akin to hisses to discourage him from bad behaviors, and he often responds well and knows what it means. I do another noise to call him to come, etc. And I feel that If I were a fellow cat, I’d swat back, so I do, always making sure to give less than equal strength to what he gives to me.
I decided to make this post of my own volition because I still feel bad when I do it. Every once in a while I may swat him or shove him away too hard and I’ll get so upset at myself I’ll cry.
Edit: I realized this may violate a rule, as my cat is not a person and I have not been called an asshole for it by another person, but 🤷
Honestly this is a pretty reasonable response to being attacked so I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself, but as somebody who used to have an aggressive cat I have to ask- have you tested him for hyperthyroidism? I didn’t know why my cat was attacking me until we got bloods done and he was diagnosed, once I had him on medication his behaviour improved significantly. Hyperthyroidism (and some other illnesses) can cause unexplained aggression in cats, so it’s worth looking into, especially if he’s on the older side!
He’s about 7 or 8, and lived as a stray until I adopted him in 2023, so he was neutered late. He is a pretty big cat too, don’t know if that could be a factor for hyperthyroidism but I’ll definitely look into it! Thank you for bringing this to my attention
If he’s not fixed, that’s another potential issue. But if he’s an only cat, he’s probably not getting enough exercise/mental stimulation.
He’s neutered, just was done so late. I could definitely see him being under stimulated. I don’t let him go outside anymore because of coyotes and he doesn’t have much interest in most toys unfortunately, he prefers mice lol
Question on the hyperthyroidism; did your cat act absolutely insane about food? Like screaming for food and wanting more after eating? I started feeding mine a little more but he’s gaining weight again and we just got him back to a normal weight from being overweight… he also bullies my little girl kitty if she eats all her food (I let him have her leftovers sometimes)
I understand your reaction and honestly id probably react the same, but this might warrant a vet visit to see if he has some hormone issues or if hes in pain and you just dont know it
I may be downvoted for this by the people that consider “innocent” animals “sacred”, but I don’t see animals as sacred, I see them as equals, we are all animals.
And some animals are assholes, some animals are moody and toxic, and others are badly educated, in any case, with proportional non-injury-inducing amount of force you are allowed to protect yourself, and to try to educate that cat.
Personally, I educated my cat by showing her early when she was young the meaning of pain (in a gentle way, talking to her too, even if they don’t understand every word, they understand that you are trying to communicate with them, not just angry or acting out of emotion), and the limit of when she was being too rough that she could hurt me, she understood, never once thereafter did she ever used too much force in her claws or teeth that she hurt me or drew blood. My sister did not teach her cats that well… the male cat lives thinking that biting people when they are not petting him like he likes is ok, an immediate single slap in the top of the head and scolding took him out of his perceived entitlement, the look of shock and surprise on his face was priceless, like he thought he was untouchable, then after a day or so of me ignoring him, he was the one that came to me to mend things, he improved after that, it’s ok to complain, just not bite hard.
Your cat has learned that he is sacred and can treat you whichever way he likes, and you will always come back to grovel before him no matter what he does, NTA but you need to be more blunt and clear with him, when he hurts you, be angry, and stay angry some more, withdraw some attention, don’t go back groveling to him right away.
This reminds me of a cat my aunt had while I was growing up. It was brutallll. I’d be scared to be myself with it. Mood swings for days. If I had to go back to the house by myself while she was working I would gear up with treats and throw them at the cat so I could run and get what I needed as fast as possible.
I get it. My cat was a huge asshole, but she was *my* asshole. I miss that little fucker.
If the way you treat him sometimes makes you cry, maybe don’t do that.
NAH cuz I don’t think you’re hurting him and I’m also not gonna imply that someone else’s pet is an asshole.
Oh he absolutely is an asshole haha (just like I am, we have a very similar personality ngl) and I would give the world up for him. Also I’m sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine the day I have to part with my little guy.
Maybe be needs to be checked for something at the vet. Btw be careful because cats are 10 pound furballs and you’re way bigger so be gentle.
I have convinced both of my cats that there is nothing worse in the world than me tapping them on the forehead. No force, the tap doesn’t move their heads at all, just an incredibly gentle tap (I’d say poke because that sounds gentler, but I use the flat of my index finger). Now, if I raise my index finger they suddenly behave. They’ve never been hit or physically harmed or anything, but, man, they hate that finger.
So, as long as you aren’t being rough enough to cause any pain or discomfort, you aren’t the only cat parent responding with a tap. IDK why it’s so effective, but it is.
NTA
NTA You should identify as a cat your nailing it 😉