So bit of info, i am F19 and he is M19, the woman is F20, this whole thing happend at some sort of family gathering/birthday in a hotel and which the stay lasted 3 days (friday-sunday)
He has also opend up to me about his type in girls is blond, big yitties (D-E cups) which is L-XL i think, while i am a ginger with A-B cups which is XS-S. (This will be relevant later)
also i am not american or english so please exuce the bad grammar or spelling mistakes!!
So my boyfriends grandmas birthday was coming up and she wanted to have this party at a hotell a couple hours away, this is a big hotell known for fancy and wild parties. I was asked to come by my boyfriend mother when i was over at their house and before i could say anything my boyfriend interupted and said "mom i thought it was only close family? She is just my girlfriend she does not have to come"
I was kinda suprised by what he said and his mom looked at him with a weird look. I let it go thinking he just wanted the oarty to be small for his grandma. A couple days later him, his mom and his dad left for the party.
When he arrived he told me they were gonna unpack and eat so we could not text which again i didnt care to much about. I didnt talk to him at all for the rest of the day but again hes at a party? But then his mom sent me snap of her talking about the food was so good and she wished i was here, but in the backround i could see my boyfriend and a cute blond girl ho was drop dead gorg. I asked her who she was but she just daid "i dont know"
I called my boyfriend but he didnt answer and when i looked at my tiktok k saw that he had unfollowed me. The next day u finally got a hold of him and i asked why he was with another girl at the party because he said "only close family" and i had never seen her. He then said "Oh shes just a friend dont worry" but last time i checked most friends dont sit with a hand on the others thigh.
I got a bad feeling about her and talked with his mom but she had no clue where they were because they left, well it turned out they were in his hotel room, drunk. And again this girl is exactly his type like Blonde, beautiful and i dont know the exact size but she looked to be Anywhere from a C-E cup.
And after the party he would always being her up to unrelated things, like i send him a video "that looks like ****" "she would get so mad" "she had the same kinda face as the hiel in the video" and so much more. But he refuses to talk about what happend in the hotell.
So bevause of that i got mad at his mom and him, i asked her why she didnt do anything for me there when she clearly saw him flirting and with her and i yelled and got mad at him for doing this whole thing, i yalled, screamed and cried snd the ghosted him for 3 days.
So i just want to know am i overreacting?? What should i do?? Am i the asshole?? Like she obviously could just be a friend but how likely is that? Please tell me what i should do, what you think, what you would do or if im overreacting. Thank you
I’d break up. He doesn’t sound trustworthy and you can’t get that trust back. As a ginger, there will be men who value your beauty for what it is and not do careless and reckless things for the sake of getting their rocks off. It sounds like he cheated to me, but I wouldn’t give him the opportunity to explain that away.
Edit: it’s also completely unkind to tell your partner your type is someone other than what they look like. They did this to make you insecure and more easily manipulated.
Y t a to yourself if you stay with him. It sounds like he probably did cheat. Even if he didn’t, his behavior is suspicious, rude, and mean.
Not out of line thinking he’s not doing right by you. Yelling at his mum, that’s out of line. You’re young. Walk away from this one.
NTA.
Based on what you’ve mentioned in your post, it’s obvious something is going on with him and that girl (or that at least something happened in that hotel).
Dump him! You deserve better!
Nta, be done with that. Mourn for lost love but show some self respect. It’s better to be alone than with someone playing with your heart like that.
NTA. Even „only“ excluding you from the party and then bringing an actual friend instead would make him an asshole. You’re his GF, he’s supposed to want to spend time with you.
There was a reason he didn’t want you at that party, the disrespect to say it’s close family only after his mother invited you, he shouldn’t have been a boyfriend after that, the fact his mother said she didn’t know who the girl was meant she wasn’t a family friend, he went there with intentions to meet this girl or someone else, he was flirting,drinking and took her to his room, he unfollowed you to appear single, yes he probably cheated and yes his family let him. You should be single again and with someone who doesn’t treat you this way
Obviously he let you know right when his Mother asked you to go that you were not wanted there! That should have been a big enough clue. Then he calls and the girl is in the picture on every call’ Mom doesn’t know who she is? Run baby run!! He is a loser!!
NTA for your reaction towards your bf, yelling at his mother was uncalled for though. But there’s no point to continue this relationship. The trust is gone, he doesn’t appreciate you or your feelings. Why would you be fighting to be with a guy like that? There are much better men out there.
Regardless of him having sex with her or not, it was pre-planned emotional cheating, likely with the intent of sex. Why do you think he didn’t want you there.
No games, no extra drama that can only hurt you, just dump him, block him and find someone who deserves you.
I would have been out when he said he didn’t want you at the so-called family only party that his own mother didn’t know was a family only party and had expected you to be there. Get out, girl, he doesn’t like you.
You are only the asshole if you find some sort of excuse for him
It is pretty obvious. You are just placeholder for him. You were not invited by him because he was going to cheat on you on the party. Please leave this relationship.
NTA. Something is definitely up. You’d be smart to just run the other way and ditch him. He’s a cheater. It’s very likely not the first time he’s cheated — maybe the first time he’s cheated on you, but not the first time for him at all. He did it too easily.