To sum it up I ( 20M) listen to mommy asmr to help sleep at night, my girlfriend (19F) views it as cheating. I never really thought of it that way. I feel awful because I hate making her upset. But it’s something I’ve listened to for years… it’s just something I listen to to help relax myself after a long day. She literally said that it kinda feels like cheating.
YTA. I wouldn’t really consider you an A considering that you didn’t do it with the intention of upsetting her, but honestly, I feel like it’s kinda obvious she might be uncomfortable with that.
Is it sexual? If it’s not I don’t understand the cheating accusations but if it is then I understand her issue with it to some extent. I wouldn’t consider it to be cheating either way but I get why she wouldn’t like it.
I watch asmr hair play videos all the time to fall asleep. I have severe insomnia. But wtf is mommy asmr???? I don’t even want to look that up.
why the hell are you listening to mommy/gf asmr
This has to be bait
So it’s a bit weird for sure, but not cheating.
Imo you need to try break that habit
Is it mommy or GF asmr? I think mommy asmr doesn’t necessarily make you an AH but personally I’d be very uncomfortable with it. Why do you need to listen to a ‘Mommy’ to fall asleep? If it’s just someone’s voice talking that makes you fall asleep maybe you can compromise and listen to another type of asmr or a documentary or something?
If you listen to gf asmr while you have a gf… yeah, weird.
I would usually search for terms I don’t understand but I’m not sure I want “mommy asmr” on my search history. We all have our thing and if this is yours then that’s fair enough. You’re not hurting anyone and, in my opinion at any rate, you’re certainly not cheating.
NTA but if I were you I would seriously consider if you want to go forward with this person.
It can be seen as cheating for some people (like porn for example or AI chats etc) and that’s OK. Others have no problem with their partner watching porn or going to strip clubs, and others do. Some people see cheating only as anything physical and others include mental stuff. So yes it can be seen as cheating by some people.
But if you don’t want to give whatever it is up and your partner isn’t OK with it you are not compatible. They do not have to accept it, they do not have to stay in a relationship with you. So it depends on how much of a deal breaker it is for them and how much a deal breaker it is for you that they aren’t cool with it.
But neither are an AH as long as it isn’t dons secretly and the partner can make the decision if they want to stay or not.
Yeah because it’s weird…
Ok so you have a habit that maybe it is time to kick for the sake of your relationships! There are other methods of falling asleep. NAH.
NAH
Sit down with her, apologize for making her feel that way. Let her know that if you had any idea that she would view it as cheating, you would have stopped listening to it.
My other suggestion is to ask her if she can make some recordings for you. (But wait a few days after the situation is resolved) That way you don’t lose your sleep aid, and she doesn’t feel cheated on.