My ex-boyfriend who groomed me passed away. I honestly felt mixed emotions. I was shocked that he passed but at the same time, I expected it to happen. His bestfriend told me before he died that he is dying from cancer, I told his bestfriend that that is none of my business and we have not been on speaking terms for over a year. I honestly have no empathy in me that he died. He hurt me, he groomed me, he was mean-spirited and callous and he took advantage of my vulnerability and inexperience as a minor. I honestly think I wouldn’t care if his loved ones would find out how I feel about him now. I loved him before but now I just feel "indifferent" about him. I don’t have any hatred or resentment towards him anymore but I am glad he is no longer alive, I won’t have to cross paths with him ever again. His bestfriend made me feel bad that I don’t want anything to do with him and I don’t have the slightest empathy for him. It’s not like his bestfriend didn’t know he hurt me and groomed me.
I understand that he lost his bestfriend, which must be extremely painful but I feel like I also have a right to my feelings and to share my truth.
However, his death did scare me though. He died painfully. His death gave me health anxiety and left me paranoid, as if I have cancer. I sometimes feel guilty for feeling this way and slightly feel sorry for him but I validate my feelings. I did not have a pleasant experience with him and he was not kind to me. AITA?
Nta. happy is an appropriate response to the death of bad people. Please go to therapy and get help dealing with what he did to you.
Agreed, all of this. NTA
My first adult bf died of cancer and he was for sure a child predator. He was 10 years older when I was 18. When his friend told me he got brain cancer I said “good I hope he dies”. I still feel that way. He deserved that and karmas a bitch. Don’t feel bad for feeling that way. It doesn’t make you evil. It means you’re human. Tell his friend to vent to someone he didn’t rape/groom. It’s not your problem.
NTA! Abusers tend to do this thing where they make you feel bad for your reaction to their abuse, his friend is doing the same to you. He was a bad person and you’re allowed to feel the way you feel about his death
NTA
You are never an AH for feeling relief that you are forever safe from a threat. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve a life where you aren’t constantly worried about where an abuser is and whether he is going to force himself back into your life.
You are not required to mourn the loss of pain and trauma, even when the shape of that threat is human.
NTA. You don’t have to grieve anyone you don’t want to
NTA nuff said, move on🤗
NTA I felt much the same when I heard my abusive ex had cancer. Hopefully you can move on now.
Your feelings are valid. It’s important to acknowledge the impact of his actions on your life. You shouldn’t have to justify your emotions or feel pressured by others’ expectations. Relief is a natural response when someone harmful is no longer around, and prioritizing your mental health is crucial. Don’t let guilt creep in; focus on healing and moving forward with your life without the weight of that past trauma dragging you down.
NTA. Once in a while the universe works the way it’s supposed to. Be free and happy ❤️
NTA: feels like immanent justice is perfectly valid. The fact that the best friend doesn’t acknowledge the abuse makes him an enabler at best an accomplice at worst.
NTA. When my abuser (uncle) developed stage 4 cancer, the first thing I thought was that karma finally came for him. My mother, who covered for her brother and let him get away with the abuse, died of cancer of stage 4 cancer. Karma is a powerful thing.
Nope NTA. I’d piss on his grave too.
NTA
And why are you friends with a person who is best friend of your abuser?