WIBTA for dedecorating?
I’m a single, no kids, 30yo woman. The holidays are a tough time for me because I didn’t have a great childhood. So in my adulthood I really try to make them special with decorating.
At Halloween I asked my boss and told her I wanted to decorate the kitchen area and she said yes. The kitchen is not near anyone’s desk, it’s a neutral zone in the office. I went all out, spider webs, little tomb stones I home made, spooky floating candles from the ceiling. Nothing was obstructed and Everyone seemed to like that it was really fun.
A few days after I put everything up my boss pulled me aside and said someone had complained and now we have to follow office decoration rules. Nothing on the ceilings, no walls, nothing sitting on floors, no walkways, no religious icons, only masking tape, etc.
I had to take down about 90 percent of what was put up, minus the table clothes and some decorations sitting on tables. And it was…sad. I could tell people felt sorry for me
I asked my boss if I could really up some decorations for Christmas, as long as I followed the rules, she said yes. I came in the day after Thanksgiving and really went for it. I hand cut felt icicles and put them on the top of the cabinets, made sure they all still opened. Carefully cut out wrapping paper for the fridges so they looked like presents. Put stars up and stuffed gnomes on the cabinet handles. I put an entire Christmas village on one of the tables and a little gnome display on the others. Some tinsel around the table edges. When I finished on Friday it looked magical. I was so excited to come into the office Monday and see everyone’s reaction.
I came in this morning, super excited with Christmas cookies and about half of it had been taken down and dumped on the floor in a pile. Anything on the cabinets, all the stars, everything on the fridges. A manager was passing through the kitchen and as he walked away and said over his shoulder ‘nothing on the walls’. I didn’t know the cabinets counted as walls. My manager came up to me a few moments later and said I had to take the table decorations off because we have an even two fridays from now (potluck) that we would need them for. She offered I could find another table outside the kitchen to put them on (there are none).
I am…just discouraged. None of my coworkers said anything, or even looked vaguely enthusiastic. I know this isn’t part of my job, but is it wrong I just want a little Christmas cheer? Everyone in my office but me have partners and kids. I spent Thanksgiving alone, my sisters are nurses. I’m in a new city, so I don’t have friends that are close enough to invite me for Holidays. So I threw myself into trying to make things nice for my coworkers. I will probably be alone on Christmas too, for the same reason
I really want to go upstairs and take everything down. I just feel like they don’t deserve it…or appreciate it. Am I the asshole if I de-decorate for Christmas?
I’m gonna go against the grain and say YTA . A a lot of people don’t like Halloween decorations, especially scary ones and it sounds like you went over the top. Same with Christmas – not everybody celebrates Christmas. I think if you had kept the Christmas decorations smaller, they probably would’ve stayed up.
Oh honey… Take it all down and don’t do it again for any reason. Decorate your home, and find something to do over the holidays. Find other people who are alone and join forces. Volunteer at a food bank or community kitchen. I’ve spent many holidays far from home and anyone I care about – mostly in places where they do not celebrate the same holidays (military and other work that takes me around the globe). Make your own holiday.
A reminder to everyone
Not everyone celebrates Christmas which means they don’t want Christmas cheer
Decorate your home or your work space
You should take it down
NAH, but please be in touch with reality-your work doesn’t want decorations. Your manager may be trying to be kind to you but obviously your decor is in people’s way (and sounds over the top). Your coworkers aren’t a substitute family-they owe you nothing.
With this desire to decorate, why not volunteer? I’m sure some assisted living facilities would love your enthusiasm, and their residents would love company.
NAH
Everything she describes sounds over the top. I understand she wants to spread some Christmas cheer but it’s too much for a break room. A few small decor was all that was needed. Tablecloths, a few centerpieces. Nothing fancy and certainly not a mini village on a table.
Your heart is in the right place OP but the office break room isn’t the place to do a lot of decorating. Decorate your desk if you want but keep it within the reasonable boundaries. Volunteering is a good idea too. It’ll give you an outlet to spread the cheer you want to give.
You went “all out” for Halloween decorations and subsequently had to tone it way down.
You then did the exact same thing again with the Christmas decorations and seem surprised to again be told its way too much. What did you expect???
I daresay your colleagues (or frankly most people generally) don’t particularly care how much christmas decorations their workplace has. Maybe if you had said to a few colleagues hey do you want to decorate with me you might have got a little more buy-in.
As the decorations have now been toned down to what is seemingly considered an acceptable level, it would be petty of you to remove what is left. On that basis, YWBTA
YTA It sounds like you were given an inch and took a mile. It doesn’t sound like the office is going to be your place to exercise your personal desire to decorate for the holidays, especially to the extent that you want to. I think that is something you are going to have to accept and it would be better done without taking offense or it taking it personally. It really sounds like you went to town in a way that was much more than they were expecting. It does sound like they are trying to accommodate you but, for example, in one case they can’t even use the table because of your decorations. It was too much.
NAH –
Look, I’m sorry, but if you decorated a whole table to the point where it wouldn’t be able to be used for a potluck in a couple weeks? That’s too much.
Entirely wrapping the fridges is too much.
Putting things over the cabinet handles? Too much!
I understand from your viewpoint, you are trying to spread cheer, but I think the first thing you need to really think about and let set in is that your work is a work space.
You shouldn’t be seeking emotional compensation for not having family and friends close by, by doing things at work. Those are two different areas of your life, and while you can sometimes have friends at work, that does not mean you should be looking for emotional fulfillment there, the way you are right now.
If you are worried about having a dreary holiday you should decorate at your own residence. I think you wanted to decorate at work because you wanted other people to see the decorations, but YOU, all by yourself, are worthy of fun decorations at your house, even if no one else sees them… but if you live in an apartment you could decorate your door, and if it’s a smaller building you could ask permission to decorate the entryway.
If you have a house, go wild in the yard!
If you don’t want to be alone, find organizations that either host community meals you can attend, or places that put on meals for needy groups that you could volunteer with!
Instead of spending money on decorations for work, consider spending that money to buy toys or food to donate to any of the organizations doing collections this time of year! Contact your local women’s shelter or CPS office and ask if you can help decorate their lobbies or contribute hand made decorations that they can distribute to their clients. (Edit to add: depending on where your nurse-sisters work, you might be able to volunteer to decorate there, or organize a handmade craft event for their patients, like in an assisted living facility).
You need to separate your emotional needs from your place of employment and find better outlets for your enthusiasm. You will be better off for it in the long term.
Agree with this completely. Soft YTA for not having good work boundaries.
Soft YTA.
The office is not the place for personal expression, to that extent. It should be a neutral workspace. Corporate doesn’t give two hoots whether you enjoy decorating.
I would be offended at the ‘forced joining in’ of all those unnecessary decorations that clutter up a communal space.
You equally don’t know if anyone else might be struggling around these occasions and who find it excruciatingly difficult to be faced with all that ‘jollity’, day in and day out.
If anything, keep it subtle, small and tasteful. Certainly not ‘in your face’ for everyone.
I understand that you want to feel jolly, but the office, communal space, and forcing others to look at it/navigate their way around it – is not the time or place for it.
YTA gently. you didn’t do this for your coworkers you did this for yourself. You wanted to buy their approval and friendship. And it backfired. Idk why you thought this would work after it already failed once.
A lifetime ago it was my job to clean the office kitchen. Everything you did I would consider clutter and it would inhibit my ability to easily clean the kitchen. You thought about what you needed/wanted and no one else.
I’m going to speak bluntly…
>The kitchen is not near anyone’s desk, it’s a neutral zone in the office.
It’s a *working area*, where people prepare food, make messes, use the tables, etc.
>I had to take down about 90 percent of what was put up, minus the table clothes and some decorations sitting on tables. \[…\] I came in the day after Thanksgiving and really went for it.
So, after being told that roughly 90% of what you did for Halloween was too much, you decided to overdo it for Christmas…
>I hand cut felt icicles and put them on the top of the cabinets, made sure they all still opened. Carefully cut out wrapping paper for the fridges so they looked like presents. Put stars up and stuffed gnomes on the cabinet handles.
You made it look like a perfect Christmas picture…that people would be afraid to use for fear of messing it up. I mean, stuffed gnomes on the cabinet handles are not something I’m going to grab if I have food, coffee, whatever on my fingers, right?
>I put an entire Christmas village on one of the tables and a little gnome display on the others. Some tinsel around the table edges.
You made it difficult for folks to actually use the tables, right?
>When I finished on Friday it looked magical.
I’m sure it looked beautiful, but *it’s a working area*. I mean, I wouldn’t have wanted to touch anything…and heaven forbid I spill food or coffee on something, accidentally tear the giftwrap on the refrigerator, or break part of the Christmas village while trying to reheat my leftovers for lunch. I love a nice holiday display, but not in a place where I have to do hands-on, potentially messy stuff.
You now know (or should know) that overdone decorations are not welcome in a working kitchen area. You should find another place to make your displays…a table in the main lobby/entrance of the office, out by the elevators, or the like might be a better place than a working area like the kitchen or mail room.
Having said all of that, YWBTA if you removed the rest of the decorations out of spite.
YTA
As soon as I read that you took up an *entire table* with your decorations… Geez.
It’s a communal space. People actually need to be able to sit and eat. I would be so p*ssed if someone had dumped a bunch of decorative clutter on a break room table.
And yeah, if you’re not allowed to hang things on the walls, why would the cabinets be an exemption?
You were informed at Halloween that you had gone too far with decorating. Then you went even *further* for Christmas, and you’re surprised that it was taken down?
You’re lonely and trying to compensate in an inappropriate setting. It’s a workplace, not your personal Pinterest gallery.
I’m gonna be unpopular here but I think you should only decorate your home and your personal work area. Not everyone celebrates Christmas and frankly not everyone gets enthusiastic about decorations, not to mention the fire safety rules that must be followed. You gotta remember the office is a work place, it’s likely not worth all the over the top effort as most people wouldn’t even necessarily care about it. Decorate your own desk or cubicle but leave the rest of the office as is