Okay so we go, for my ex I will name him Ben and his ex I will name her Jessica.
Am I the aitas for telling my ex no he cannot get our son to call his ex aunty Jessica, I told him that is your ex and yes you have two children with her but we also have a child and I feel extremely uncomfortable for you to get our son to call her Aunty Jessica, I feel like she has nothing to do with our son but us, he has no right to do aitas
INFO Was this ever discussed before you chose to have a child together?
YTA – looking for drama where no drama needs to exist. You are entirely WRONG about not having anything to do with her: your kid has half-brothers. They are related even if they are not related to you, they are still related to him. And their mother is the closest relationship that they have, so you kid will get exposed to their mother. It makes sense if your kid sees her on a regular basis, to have an agreement on what to call her and “aunty” is very reasonable. It’s not like he is proposing your kid call her “mommy Jessica” or something.
Get over yourself and stop looking for issues in such a mixed family situation.
Of course the child can just call her Jessica.
Some cultures it’s rude for a child to address an adult by their first name.
Your son has half siblings and their mum, Jessica. What would you like him to call her, especially if she was part of his life?
Sometimes Aunty can be used a sign of respect for someone older in some cultures, and does not have to be a biological aunt.
YTA and also a petty, petty one
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YTA.
To be honest I don’t really understand what the big deal is about this. When I was growing up, it was viewed as disrespectful for children to call adults by their names only, so literally every unrelated adult was ‘Aunty’ or ‘Uncle’, from our next door neighbour to the local shop owner. As this woman is the mother of your child’s siblings, she is likely to be in your child’s life peripherally, so it makes sense to have something to call her.
Additionally, Ben isn’t your partner, he’s your ex, and I think it’s kind of an overreach to determine what your child calls \*his\* side of the family…aside from terms that could be an encroachment on ‘mum’, it kind of isn’t your concern.
Aunty is such a generic term. Half my friends are “aunty x” or “uncle y” to my kid and they’re not even related. This is not the tiny, tiny hill to die on. YTA.
OK, I get it’s a emotive situation but yes, YTA.
It sounds as though Jessica’s childnre ad your son are half-soblings, they are therfore presumably going to spend time together and as such, it’s not unreasonabe thather kids may nd to have a way of addressing or referring to you and your child will a way to refer to / address their mother.
Lots of people use ‘aunty’ a courtesy titel as many people don’t want their childnre to address adults by the adult’s first name with no title, and many adults are not comfrtable being addressed just by their first name by a child.
For instnace, I am ‘Aunty Yaffle’ to the children of several of my friends.
Also, this is a battle you are goin to lose. IF your child spends any time with their dad they wil learn from their dad how members of his family and hs extrended group of friends / acquaintences like to be addressed. You are not going to be abl to stop him using that title , and as your child’s father, he has as much right as you do to determine how people should be addressed.
If you make an issue of this all you are going to do is put your child in the middle of a conflict btween you and your ex, and the only person that will hurt is your child.
It’s fine for you to have feelings about it and if you can come up with a suitable alternative (Miss Jessica, for instnace? ) you couldask him to use that instead, but otherswise, ths is not about you. Let your ex parent his own kid when they are in his care.
YTA
I’m Auntie to my ex’s kid. She’s 6. Auntie is used for friends and godparents too.
What you expect exactly? “This is the lady daddy used to have sex with”?
You seriously need to grow up.
YTA
It’s used as a generic term of respect for an elder who is close to the family. You may not respect this person, but you aren’t your kid’s only parent.