I have been living with Jenny & Sally for almost three years and we have a new housemate this year called Polly. However, we have all been friends really since the first year that me, Jenny and Sally moved in together. Polly wasn’t able to move in until this year. I was kind of happy she was but I wasn’t sure. Me, Jenny & Sally had this set dynamic that I didn’t want changing. Polly moved in and it was all fine for months but then one day, when we were on a walk, she asked if I wanted to go and see this movie in the cinema as a fun thing to do on a weekend – I said ‘yeah sure’ as I thought it would be fun and I did really want to see the film. Then, Jenny found out one day and was angry at me for not thinking of inviting her & Sally to come along too. I did tell her that it was Polly who asked me and made this plan but Jenny said that I should have at least suggested to Polly that they both should come too. I know that they have both said previously that they didn’t want to even see that film. I tried to talk about it but Jenny & Sally aren’t really talking to me. I don’t know what happened… Am I the asshole?????
NTA. You can go to the movies with whoever you want. You are not obligated to invite Jenny & Sally. They aren’t your spouse.
nta, who even suggests people come to an event within the first second of being asked anyways
Is there some rule that you have to do everything together all the time? Are you housemates or a cult?
NTA.
^(DON’T DRINK THE KOOLAID!)
NTA. They also said they didn’t want to see the film
NTA. Do you have this rule that in everything that you plan to do everyone has to go? Polly made the plan and invited you so that’s that. You can do whatever you want without tagging them along all the time.
So if I have 4 other housemates they come to although the invite wasn’t to them.just me..if you go on a trip I just assume I am going too ? After awhile it gets whynare ypu always here with us..
NTA. Your life doesn’t have to revolve around your housemates, either.
NTA I always find friend groups odd that can’t spend time with each other 1 on 1 and need the whole group in attendance for everything.
NTA. Someone has FOMO
Ok, here are my thoughts. In a newer roommate situation where everyone is feeling their way around relationships etc., I would tend to invite all the roommates or none of the roommates until relationships had time to kind of settle. I would do it to avoid hurt feelings, not because I had an obligation to do so.
In this instance Polly was new to the house so I might have suggested inviting everyone for Polly’s sake.
This is weird. You’re not obligated to go as a group even if you knew the others first.
A little bit, they would have liked to been asked they could have changed their mind. Or just went to show that they were good sports and wanted to be friends.