English is not my 1st language*
Yesterday my friend told me and my friends that she secretly is FWB* with my neighbour for over a year now.
Which isn’t a problem, well I thought it was a bit weird that it has been going on for a year and she didn’t tell us, but then again she doesn’t owe us that information.
BUT the thing is: I have been complaining to my friends for the past year about the sexual noises of my neighbour. It is usually way too loud and late at night, which is very frustrating for me cause I like to sleep at night. All this time I have been complaining about this she nodded along and validated my frustration. So yesterday when I found out that she was the one banging loud this whole time, something snapped in me. I called her perverse and weird for knowing that it was something that I had problems with, and still kept doing it secretly while she knew I got bothered about it. We got into a huge fight, she told me I exaggerated and shouldn’t throw the word perverse around. My friends kind of stayed out of it and tried to calm us down. We both ended up angry and in tears and I just walked away and went home. Now she sent me a long text saying she is very hurt by what I’ve said. My friends tell me I should apologise, but I don’t think I am in the wrong.
Am I the asshole?
No lmao she knew damn good and well what she was doing. I’d be pissed too
You used the word “perverse” correctly, but I think your friend misunderstood. She probably thought you called her “perverted,” which is much worse.
Yes, l think this is absolutely what happened.
Her friend is also unironically a pervert.
Yes
I mean, her friend literally.got off knowing that she was inconveniencing her friend, and continued to do it. She is a pervert
NTA. Your friend knew she was doing something that bugged you and was mad when you called her on it after you found out it was her? Lol no.
Bye your friend thinks she’s in some kind of messed-up romance novel, probably liked it too.
lol! Maybe she was being loud because she turned on by your complaints. Perhaps she liked the idea of you coming up all ruffled and then deciding to join in. I feel like there is more on her side than she is letting on. That or she ain’t the only FWB. Lol!!!
NTA. DO NOT APOLOGIZE. She’s perverse for doing that, wtf. Maybe she dragged so long in telling you all bc she knew the problem you had with it(? But regardless, she knew she was the one who didn’t let you sleep at night, she could have toned it down instead of sitting there, AGREEING with you while she got in your neighbor’s bed at night to bang him loudly without any care. That’s desconsiderate regardless if you are her friend, any neighbor would be bothered by it
I feel like you could have done without the “perverse” part but yeah it’s definitely fucked up she knew you could hear it and didn’t like it but kept doing it. Your friend is weird or possibly even intentionally doing it, or just lacks empathy and doesn’t care.
NTA. I hope you find a better friend.
This is ACTUALLY perverse though. She KNOWS it bothers OP but continues to have obnoxiously loud sex with the neighbor. There’s no way she isn’t getting off from that shit.
NTA, perverse may be a little strong worded. But if she is nodding along all year not saying anything then it’s rude for sure. Maybe perverse if they made a show of it to make noise. But it could also just been organic. The biggest issue I see. Is she pretended to be none the wiser. Just bad friend code
Nah, that’s weird as hell. She literally knew you were being kept up at night and said nothing… while it was her the whole time?? That’s not just inconsiderate, that’s shady. Calling her perverse might’ve been harsh, but you snapping makes sense