my roommate (25F) and I (24F) got into an argument because i asked her to help out with my half of the rent.
for context, we have been friends since we were babies basically. she has a really good office job that pays well. im a freelancer and my income is based on how many clients i get and lately i haven’t gotten as many gigs. she knew that i’d need help
i asked her a few days before it was due to help me out and she exploded on me calling me a lazy bum and telling me to get a better job. she ended up packing up her things and moving in with her boyfriend, leaving me to pay my half AND her half for this month with no notice.
AITA??
Soooooo YTA. I don’t understand how you could even question this. Pay your fucking rent.
Info: what do you spend your money on?
How many times have you asked her for help with rent?
Why havent you looked for a full time job
YTA get a job lol
Not her job to help you out with the rent. I don’t care if you were friends since embryos, you entered a contract you’re her roommate you pay your half of the rent I think it’s a bit presumptuous to think that she should have to help you without your angry that she won’t come on put your big girl pants on
YTA.
She’s your roommate – not your parent who might feel obligated to give you a safety net. Supporting you isn’t her job.
Once you entered a transactional relationship with her (i.e. becoming roommates), you changed your friendship.
did your roommate actually know that you’d need help? did you discuss before moving in together that she’d have to spot you on rent money because you won’t get a stable job? I have a hard time believing “she knew that i’d need help” given her reaction so I’m gonna go YTA
YTA. Having gig work isn’t an excuse to put other people out. What if your next four months are down. Get a part time job to work around your gigs.
YTA – I’m a freelancer too, and it can be hard, but until you can confidently pay the bills with it – you need to supplement it with another job. And as hard as it is, sometimes you have to fall back to retail work or something like that.
She’s meant to be your friend, not your cash cow or safety net.
YTA
You shouldn’t be asking anyone to cover your rent. Adulting comes with adult responsibilities, like making sure you have enough money to cover your rent.
YTA. You’re responsible for your rent. Your lack of planning isn’t her problem. You knew you were struggling with contracts but didn’t take action to ensure you were prepared. You just sat back and expected your roommate to cover you and you gave her no notice to boot.
Your roommate is a slight asshole for not giving you any notice before leaving but she’s probably fed up with your behaviour. I wouldn’t judge her for her frustration because this is entirely of your own making.
You have no right to expect her to bail you out. You managed to destroy a friendship because you didn’t think ahead.
YTA This wasn’t a surprise to you that you wouldn’t be able to make rent. You know how much you get paid per job and that jobs were slim. You chose to wait until it was an emergency situation to ask for help.
Her job and how much she makes are irrelevant. You’re entitled to exactly zero of her dollars to cover your expenses. The fact that she jumped straight to name calling makes me suspect this isn’t the first money issue that’s come up. Even if it is the first time you’ve borrowed money for an emergency.
If both of your names are on the lease, she’s still responsible for her half or breaking lease with the landlord. But that leaves you without the rent still. I’d look into getting a steady paying job, and doing freelance as a side gig, because it’s not paying your bills.
YTA.
1. Your half is your responsibility.
2. Telling her to help you put just a few days before it’s due is also bad. Everybody has a budget. You can’t just spring something like this on her.
3. You didn’t post anything about paying her back. So…is this supposed to be a freebie or something?
I think you guys are no longer compatible to live together.
YTA. She doesn’t owe you anything because she has a better job than you, and has known you forever. It’s also not up to her to assume that you’d need help- did you let her know how things were looking for you, or give her any kind of warning?
There are tactful ways to ask for help or for her to spot you, but she does not have to say yes. I would not live with someone with an unstable income either. She’s kind of TA for leaving you high and dry on such short notice, but I don’t blame her for moving out.
YTA for the many reasons that other people have already said.
Also, you mentioning that she has “a really nice office job that pays well” has 0 relevance to anything. It doesn’t matter if she is a billionaire, she is NOT responsible for paying your rent and you shouldn’t be putting her in that position by asking her to.
If you cannot make ends meet as a freelancer then you need to do the responsible adult thing which is work a job that you don’t want to work. That’s life, very few people work because they want to, they work because they have bills to pay. I would love to be able to work from home doing my hobby, but guess what, I can’t because there are bills to pay and my hobby doesn’t make enough money.