AITAH for telling my best friend that if she invites Rick, I would leave?
Please be gentle, I’m new to Reddit and made this account to seek some advice.
The backstory:
We used to live next door to Rick (50s M) and Maya (40F). They where good neighbours, and I (40F) was very close to Maya.
About five years ago we build a new house and moved one street over, close to my husband’s (46M) childhood friend Grant (45M) and his wife Lena (40F).
Rick and Maya are now devorced.
We visit Grant and Lena regularly, also because our kids play a lot together. I concider Lena a good friend too.
Over the years, for birthdays and little get-togethers, we invited both Grant & Lena and also Rick & Maya, so they all know eachother becouse of us. After the devorce we noticed Rick visits Grant and Lena more, and visits my husband less.
We also regularly go out to eat as a group. My husband and me with our two girls (11F and 8F), Grant and Lena with their boy (9M), and Rick with his boy (11M).
But honestly, every single dinner something happens with Rick and his boy VS our family.
One time Rick’s son didn’t like his entree (it was crab btw, who lets a 11yo choose crab as an entree). So he just grabbed food from my husband and Lena’s breadbasket becouse “he didn’t like his own”. Rick told him not again, but it was awkward.
Next dinner I ordered a large water bottle for the adults. We all poured our glasses and suddenly Rick’s son grabs my husband’s glass and drinks from it. My husband got annoyed (understandable) and took his glass back, a bit dramatic maybe, and told the kid not to do that.
This started the whole “not your kid, not your job to parent him” thing, which to me was so beside the point.
At this moment, becouse of the constant drama with Rick and his boy, we are just done.
Lena and I have a standing plan to swim every Sunday with the kids. One week we where early and my daughter was playing with another girl already. So she wasn’t giving attention to Lena’s son and he had no one to play with.
Lena then said she should invite Rick and his boy next time.
I said, “Sure, but then I go home.”
She flipped out instantly. Started yelling that me, my husband, Rick and Grant “should have a serious talk”, and she stormed off. I didn’t even get to say anything.
Later when we where getting sandwiches, Grant called my husband asking why we started a fight at the pool. My husband explained we didn’t start anything, I just said a statement and Lena exploded.
It’s now four weeks later and we still haven’t really talked.
We made it clear that if Rick is there, we will not come.
So AITAH for not wanting drama with one friend, even if it now causes trouble with another friend?
Do I just waight until Lena talks to me? I feel like the ball is in her court, sortof speak.
I can’t believe y’all are in your 40s and 50s. This is teenager drama
Congrats for reading it.
I stopped when OP said they created the account for this post. I checked the account and it is 14 days old….
So that was blatant lie number 1 and enough for me.
Lmaoooo. Thank you for doing the Lord’s work lol. I completely missed that
I’ll be honest, I’m a bit hung up on the part where only the adults are allowed water to drink at the table?!
Right? “I ordered drinks only for the adults and this awful child had the audacity to be thirsty”. Yeah he shouldn’t have snatched someone else’s drink but was anything ordered for the children?
Also when he took other food because he didn’t like his meal, it was some bread? Like, the free stuff that’s put on the table to share?
Agreed. “A bottle of water for the adults” is absolutely absurd. Why not a bottle of water for the whole table? It’s water for heaven’s sake.
Yeah sorry YTA. I was expecting something actually bad to have happened based on the title. Both examples are such non issues that if that’s the worst you have then you’re an asshole for trying to make your friends choose between you and Rick/his kid. I think you might not like what choice they make.
First I was genuinely flabbergasted that anyone would cut a friend out of their life because their 11 year old child took a slice of bread and a glass of water.
Then I learned that this takes place in the Netherlands, the land where people send you 3€ payment requests when you had a sandwich at their house, and it all made sense.
Doe ff normaal, serieus….