A couple years ago I was an associate level employee at a small but well respected company in my area. It was in the same industry that my friend Eva wanted to work in post graduation (she was still in a graduate program at the time). She saw online that our company was hiring and reached out to me to see if I could get her an interview.
I didn’t go to college until I was 30 so we were classmates and friends despite the age difference. We were two years apart in our program. I worked for 10+ years (same industry as current) before school while Eva went straight from high school to undergrad to our graduate program since her parents supported her living expenses. She never had any kind of job before this incident.
I passed along her resume to my boss, and he initially said no since they 1)prefer not to interview people still early on in school, 2)don’t interview or hire people with zero prior work experience and 3)prefer to hire people with significant work experience in the industry already.
I insisted that she was a diligent classmate and he granted her an initial interview. I wasn’t in the room for it but I don’t think it went well because she did not get invited for a second interview. Eva has a very intense personality that can seem abrasive at first. I don’t think she knows that she has to be professional in a professional setting and part of this is probably due to the fact that she’s young and has never worked before. Overall though, she doesn’t make a good first impression and I actually initially didn’t really like her. Knowing my boss, I don’t think their personalities would mesh well together as he is very religious, buttoned up, and overall conservative.
Well Eva has been mad about this ever since and is personally mad at *me* that I apparently didn’t push harder for her to be hired. The thing is, I have nothing to do with new hires at my company. Also, I don’t think Eva fulfilled the basic requirements of the job and if hired, I don’t think she would have succeeded as it’s a very demanding role that with lots of client face-to-face and she had no work experience, not to mention she would not be great with our conservative clients.
She keeps bringing it up not only to our friend group, but also at professional events where it makes my employer look bad. She keeps saying the thing about me being a shit friend for not advocating for her, also she keeps saying my company is racist for not hiring her. I don’t think race played a factor in the hiring decision and I myself am a person of color (not that her experience couldn’t be different than mine).
Our mutual friend group and professional group is only getting her side of the story as I never bring this up, but she does all the time, so I feel like most of them think I’m an asshole. Our mutual friends who previously worked at my company (5 friends total) agree that she is in the wrong and was completely unqualified for the job.
NTA, you’re not an asshole, but it sounds like this person is not your friend.
I am starting to feel that way but I work in a small field so I have to keep seeing her and try to keep things friendly, it’s so frustrating
There’s an asshole for sure, but it’s not OP.
NTA. You did far more than anyone could expect. You pushed for her to get that interview which to me was actually far too much in the field of risking your neck. She can be bitter all she wants, all it shows is her own immaturity.
NTA- and most people I know would look sideways at your ‘friend’ is they heard her taking like this. You got her the screen call. Closing the deal was on her.
You should let her run her mouth. Be calm. Be professional. If it come up just shrug and say “ conversation and choice was above my level”. Anyone with SENSE and experience will understand. Aka, you tied. Manager didn’t like her. You’re keeping out of it. It’s business not personal. It reflects well on you. And poorly on her. Sour grapes and sore looser vibes always show up.
I would also remind you that EVER person you refer is a reflection on your professional reputation. A pass along of an interview is no risk.. pushing? If that candidate is not awesome, that YOUR reputation at risk.
On a separate note: this person is not your friend. This person cannot be trusted.. start to distance yourself as quietly as you can. People who seem on her side about this are also not trust worthy. Protect yourself. Keep a distance. Use how people Respond to her narrative to figure out who is has high emotional intelligence, is professional, and more likely good to work with. People that buy in to her will be NONE of those.
Sorry, I forgot to mention, about a year after this happened, my company did hire another one of our classmates, Shannon, that I also passed along a resume for. I had no say in her interview after that. I also think it’s important to mention that Shannon has an additional masters degree relevant to the field, as well as four total years work experience (2 in our industry). Eva thinks it’s important that Shannon is white, but I don’t believe race was a factor since Shannon had a far superior resume.
NTA. You did your best to help her. Her incompetence and attitude problems are not your fault.
>Her incompetence and attitude problems are not your fault.
The more she complains and blames everyone else, the more OP probably realizes that she’s lucky Eva is not her coworker. Imagine listening to this all day at work.
NTA
And if Eva’s personality is as you describe, her running around and bad-mouthing the company will not reflect on that company; rather, it will make any reasoned grown up think worse of HER.
She just makes herself look bad and unprofessional as fuck. It is so clearly just sour grapes and is laughable.
If she give attitude to you again about this, I would just look at her calmly and say, “Sorry you couldn’t pass the first round interview, given your negative views of the company maybe it was a blessing that you didn’t get the job you applied for”. And leave it at that.
I wouldn’t scrap with her on this issue, she’s spoiling for a fight and wants to take out her disappointment and temper on SOMEBODY. Just stay calm and cool and back away from this girl; she’s too immature, hot headed and unprofessional to be worth going to bat for imo.
edited extra wording
NTA, but I don’t know why you aren’t responding. Whenever this comes up, you should be saying, “I gave my boss your \[or her\] resume. He didn’t want to interview you \[or her\] but I convinced him to. I have no control or influence over who gets hired after an interview.” There’s literally nothing more you could have done, and there’s no need to bring up that you think she was unqualified or probably botched the interview, because it’s not relevant.
Agreed.
When someone is making false statements, it’s ok (and often necessary) to tell the truth.
Nobody thinks your an AH. You do not have the power to get her hired. They were never going to hire her
The interview was a favor to you NTA
NTA. But I hope you learnt a good lesson from this. Don’t put someone forward for a role if you don’t think they’re suitable. It does reflect on you, as you’re essentially vouching for them. Sometimes you have to say no, even to your friends. Next time she brings it up, maybe say something like “hey, I did you a massive favour and put my own reputation on the line to get you in the door for an interview. After than it was up to you. I have no influence over who gets hired or not. You need to let this go now. You are going to interview for probably 100’s of jobs in your life and most of the time you’re not going to get the job, for any number of reasons. Learn to deal with rejection, because this behaviour is not ok.”
Obviously nta, and you went above and beyond what you probably even should have.
I just want to add that as long as people know you put in her resume and got her an interview no one is actually going to side with her that you could have done more to get her hired. Only an idiot would think you have any say in her being hired.