Hei, My friend is going to marry next sommer and I am one of the bridesmaids. Her wish is that all the bridesmaids wear a dress in the same color so that it looks nice on the pictures. The problem I have is that I really don’t like the color. I look horrible. Therefore I deny to buy a dress I don’t feel well with for round about 300$ from my own money. The bride thinks that I am the asshole now because I ruin her wedding. But I will definitely go to the wedding in the dress I like, even though it is not the color she wished for.
P.s: what I forgot to tell. I bought a dress in this color. But the bride is not sure on the photos if it is the right tone and wants me to look for another, even so I tried like 15 dresses before. Even her example pic had different tones.
Step down from your bridesmaid duties
I think you can just politely tell her, you will step out of being a bridesmaid. You can’t decide you want to be a bridesmaid, but also want to wear something different. That would make you the AH. She also can’t force you to wear something you don’t want to. That would make her the AH.
YTA. The bride wants you as a bridesmaid in a dress colour she chose. If you don’t like the colour, don’t buy the dress and don’t be a bridesmaid.
But I will definitely go to the wedding in the dress I like, even though it is not the color she wished for.
Also what kinda level of entitlement and ignorance is this?!
At the end of the day. It is the brides wishes. You need to politely step down
It would be good to remember that you are a bridesmaid, not the bride, therefore the day is not about you. You know how many ugly dresses people have had to wear in weddings because that is what the bride selected? A large majority. I wouldn’t bow out of the wedding because I think the dress is ugly and looks bad on me, because how I look doesn’t really fucking matter that day; I would drop out because the dress is $300, and that is a lot for a dress you will wear one time.
I don’t know what you expect from the bride. Do you expect her to pick a different dress? Let you pick your own? How about you make this really easy and just tell her that you can’t afford the dress, so you would like to attend as a guest and not in the wedding party. If you can’t afford the dress, that’s one thing. If you don’t wanna wear it because you wanna pout that it’s just not flattering on you, then YTA.
YTA her wedding so she gets to decide on the bridesmaid dresses. You literally have no say unless she says you do. You’re trying to take the spotlight in HER wedding and that makes you a major AH. Do her a favor and step down as a bridesmaid so she can ask a real friend to do it.
YTA if you stay a bridesmaid and go against the bride. You need to step down if you won’t wear the dress colour the bride has picked
If the bride wants a colour then if you are a bridesmaid you have to suck it up and wear thst colour OR pull out of the wedding party. Those are your only options
Yta
YTA & you’re no friend! You are selfish making it all about you. I hope the bride cuts you out of the wedding party and saves herself the headache you are!
This is a little complicated. I’m assuming that the bride knows why you don’t want to buy an expensive dress that looks bad on you. If she doesn’t know this, then tell her this plainly.
Your choices are either ‘stay a bridesmaid and don’t make it about you’ or ‘tell the bride you can’t be a bridesmaid’. If you decline the role of bridesmaid, with enough time for the bride to find a replacement, then N T A. If the bride has a problem with you declining, then that’s a ‘her’ problem. If you stay a bridesmaid and get the dress (can you possibly thrift it? Rent it? Or does it have to be a complete match?), then N T A. If you stay a bridesmaid and insist on being the odd-one-out in the pictures, then Y T A.
YTA, her wedding, her day, not your day. You don’t have to go if you really do feel uncomfortable in a dress. I don’t blame you I wouldn’t want to go to a wedding wearing something I don’t feel comfortable in either but to think that you can just go in whatever you want is making YTA.
In my opinion, you have two options. You either go to the wedding in the dress she wants you in. Or, you don’t go to the wedding.
YTA don’t agree to be a bridesmaid if you won’t wear what the bride asks, this is common sense decency
“But I will definitely go to the wedding in the dress I like, even though it is not the color she wished for.”
YTA if you’re planning to do this & still expect be a bridesmaid. Don’t buy the dress if you don’t want to, but then you have to tell the bride you cannot be a bridesmaid. You’re in with the dress she wants, or you’re out. Those are your only choices.