Not sure if this is the right place for this, but I (33F) appreciate solid no strings attached sex. I always like to acknowledge after the fact that we were naked together, maybe a lighthearted comment (eg, “lol I have to wear a turtleneck now bc of the hickeys you left), and either “let’s do this again” or “this was a ONS, best of luck”
My last 2 interactions have been crickets from the dude post-nut. One, we met at a bar and immediately went home. The last we met online, talked for a month before our schedules aligned.
So curious what y’all think about basic respect/decency rules around NSA sex – post-sex text or it happened, let’s never talk again.
ETA: maybe my question isn’t clear. I do not have any problem with a ONS. I’ve also had NSA sex consistently where we don’t talk except to schedule a dick appt (my preference). My question is about in either situation, what is considered basic respect? How do you differentiate between an asshole and not? There’s a difference between “expectations” and “respect/decency”
I want you to remember that hundreds of millions of years of evolution is creating a brain chemistry for you to love the other person so that together you can bring life into this world and both be productive members of your tribe. Good luck.
Say out loud “one night stand” very slowly.
It’s NSA. By definition, don’t expect anything afterwards. If he does talk to you, consider it a bonus.
Depends on the sex. If he doesn’t talk to you it is a bonus
“Thanks for laying there. Talk to you soon.”
I think it can be a respect thing. Meeting right away and having sex is great for both. I could see many men not thinking much of this experience beyond what happened.
NSA means NSA. There are literally no strings attached and thus no expectations.
my thinking is a woman can get nsa dick anywhere, so make the whole experience of hanging out with me something she wants to do repeatedly.
pillow talk imho is a basic decency even with nsa. i’ll ask her if she wants to watch some Netflix since we just chilled. And even with nsa, I will still be a good host and gentleman about it, which includes pillow talk cuddles and springing for some uber eats. and if shes there the next morning, ill also make breakfast.
One night stands/NSA comes with no expectations, by it’s very definition. No texts, no flirting, no decency, no nothing; only silence and going your separate way.
Given that you say you appreciate solid, no strings attached sex, I’m wondering if you’re recently single? Your behavior is the kind of thing I would generally expect from a lady who is used to having rapport with men she has sex with.
There is a Japanese saying: The shopkeeper can hardly be angry at the rain for ruining his wares if he insists on leaving his window open in a thunderstorm.
If you are doing NSA sex with someone that you had no previous connection to at all, then you cannot expect any connection from them afterwards.
Morally, SHOULD they at least text to let you know if they want more or want a relationship or whether they liked the sex or not? Yes. They should. But, that is what NSA sex is when you are doing it with someone that you had no previous connection to at all. Not everyone is going to do that and a lot of them definitely aren’t, and realistically you are going to be taking a risk.
It’s a bit like sticking your hand in a wild bee hive with a spoon without even wearing a glove to get honey. You’ll probably get something but you’re taking a big risk that you’ll probably also get a couple of stings for your trouble and there are better ways to get honey.
Reasonable is nothing. It’s NSA.
There is no universal social script for it. Even if there was, NSA sort of implies a general agnosticism toward social scripts. So either talk about what you want in advance or rid yourself of expectations.
After the act, every one of my one night stand love victims gets to hear my favorite Michael Jackson joke as I moonwalk out of the hotel room.