I (17F) begged for a dog for eight years. My parents (51M, 49F) always said no. This year my grandma surprised me and got me a dog specifically for me, not for my parents. Since I got her, I’ve paid for everything: vet visits, vaccines, food, toys, grooming, collar, leash, training, and all supplies. My parents do not pay for her care at all. They sometimes pet her, but that’s it. About half the time I’m around my parents, they are emotionally abusive, and control is a big issue in our house. Now they are demanding that their name be on my dog’s microchip instead of my grandma’s. I want my grandma’s name on it because she bought the dog for me, I pay for everything, my parents didn’t want a dog in the first place, and they aren’t financially responsible. They told me that if I don’t obey everything they say without question, they will rehome my dog. I told them I will follow reasonable rules, but I won’t agree to unreasonable control over a dog they don’t pay for. We argued about legal ownership, and I said that from what I was told, the person who pays for the dog and is on the records is usually the legal owner, which would be me and my grandma. I also said they legally can’t just take my dog and give her away, and that if they did, the law would allow me to take them to small claims court. I wasn’t threatening them, just explaining the law. My dad said he doesn’t care about the law and that he can do whatever he wants because he’s the head of the household. During the argument he stormed toward me, and I put my hands up and backed against the wall because I was scared. He screamed at me for being defensive. I said I put my hands up because I don’t trust him and thought he was going to hit me. That made him even angrier. He then said, “I swear to God I will make your life a living hell if you don’t listen to and obey every word I say.” After that he said he would rehome my dog if I don’t obey everything. Now he’s also trying to force me to put their name on the microchip. I don’t want to because if their name is on it, they could legally give my dog away and I’d have no rights, even though my grandma bought her and I pay for everything. For context, I have anxiety, panic attacks, and depression symptoms but my parents won’t take me to a doctor. My dog helps me feel safe. They have isolated me before by taking away my devices and not letting me leave or talk to anyone, and they’ve threatened to do it again, including cutting off my internet which I use for school. I feel like they’re trying to take legal control of my dog to use her to control me. So, AITA for refusing to put my parents’ name on my dog’s identification chip and wanting my grandma’s name on it instead?
Update: I just turned 17, so it’s going to be a while before I’m 18. And I am really bad at confrontation so talking to someone about it is going to be very difficult for me. I’m going to try to meet with my grandma soon.
Take the dog and go live with your grandma. NTA
This! If it’s a possibility, please do this, OP.
Deff not the asshole. They dont care at all for your dog so why should you change it? The only assholes here are your parents. If you gave away the ownership, they would (probably) immediately gave away your dog, judging from their sudden, obsessive care. If possible, have you concidered moving to yourgrandma? What you described is NOT normal and might damage you further
Or so i think
Rehome your dog and yourself to your grandma’s house. You’re in a really scary situation and you need to get out.
For the record, you should be able to see a doctor without your parent’s permission. I don’t know your location so it might be different, but if you’re struggling, call your doctor and make an appointment.
In the USA, patient rights start at age 13. You can contact child welfare or child protective services and ask for assistance, even asking for out of home placement I ti ‘relative care’. Make sure your grandma is on board with it as if your dad is using this type of manipulation on you, she may also be vulnerable. (In Washington state, we call this plan a Child in Need of Services, but your state may call it something different).
You can start with talking to a counselor or vice principal through your school!
Planned Parenthood can help you with your mental health. Please see them, but also please go live with grandma as soon as you’re able.
NTA Your parents are very abusive, no wonder you have mental health troubles. I will say this. I know your Grandma meant well, but she was wrong to put a dog in your household knowing how abusive your parents are and how unwilling they are to let you have a dog. I don’t mean to make you feel bad, I know you love the dog and she gives you great comfort, but she isn’t safe there. The best thing to do is re-home her. I fear your dad may actually hurt her or poison her to “make your life a living hell” by making you watch her suffer. Can Grandma take the dog and keep her safe? Can you live with Grandma now, or as soon as you turn 18? Do you have a friend or other family member to keep the dog for you? This isn’t about winning a fight against your abusive dad, its about protecting your beloved dog from your abusive dad. Then, as soon as you are able, get out and protect yourself from your abusive dad too.
Your dog isn’t safe in that house.
Please leave that house as soon as you can 💖 you are not the asshole here at all, but your parents are abusive. Tell your grandma this happened and ask her if she can have you stay there, this is not okay you deserve way better.
Yes. You are old enough even though you are technically a minor, that the police won’t bother dragging you back to your house.
Grandma’s name is on the microchip so she’s the legal owner.
You *can’t* give your parents ownership of a dog that’s not yours.
You’re 17. Despite everything, it seems that at least you’re physically safe.
Just plan your exit. You’ll be 18 in no time.
Her name is not on the microchip yet, my dog is still a puppy and we have not registered her chip yet.
The owners name goes on the chip and I am still a minor, so I would need an adult to put their name on the chip for me until I’m 18. If my parents put their name on my dog’s microchip, it would make it much harder for me to ever prove she’s mine or get her back. A microchip is often used as proof of ownership. If my grandma’s name is on it instead, my parents would not have the right to give my dog away.
NTA but you need to make sure the dog is safe BEFORE standing up to your parents, and that probably means moving out.
*YOU* are not safe in that house. Can you live with your grandma? You need to make an escape plan ASAP. The fact that you genuinely believe your father would assault you is deeply concerning.