I went back to my mom’s for a few weeks, and she’s been cooking for me. One evening, I was with other family members, and we were having a meal. I’d already had a few drinks, and we started talking about food. In a moment of candor, I confessed to my mom that I wasn’t a big fan of her cooking (not all of it, of course…). But it just came out.
She obviously took it badly and was offended (which I understand), and she’s angry with me because she accused me of having told her a long time ago.
I feel terrible… what do you think? AITA?
YTA You cook then
YTA, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, be grateful she cooks for you.
It sucks, never a good time to be told but I’d be hurt too
YTA if you dont like her cooking then cook the household meals yourself.
She’s made, you feel bad, shes been graciously hosting for you and cooking your meals. Why do you think you might NOT be an asshole exactly?
YTA. Raising a kid is not easy, and I say this as someone childfree. Moms have a lot to do and being an amazing cook on top of all the other responsibilities is not a guarantee or something a child is entitled to. If there was always enough food on the table for you growing up and it was somewhat nutritious, then she did her job. There’s no need to kick her efforts back in her face like that.
There are other aspects of parenting that I think are fair game to criticize – like how she handled discipline, or your education, or your health and hygiene. But she wasn’t a gourmet chef…?
YTA This isn’t kind to say, even if true. It’s the kind of thing you resort to after finding no other way out of having to eat the tuna casserole that almost makes you want to vomit that she makes every time because she is somehow convinced it is your favorite — but this time you just can’t bring yourself to. It’s not something you say after a few drinks as conversation.
INFO: when was said time you said you didn’t like the cooking previously? Regardless, YTA. Some things you just got to keep quiet about. Can’t just say that and expect nothing to come of it
YTA. You’re an adult – start cooking for yourself.
Is there some reason you felt obliged to accept her hospitality, let her be happy, cook for you, then retroactively take it back with this unkind comment? Which, incidentally, stretches all the way back into your childhood? Making her feel inadequate both in the past and in the present? Do you love your mother? Or do you see her as a defective servant? Asking for a friend. YTA
And saying it in front of other family members
YTA
You could have told her in private, if at all.
YTA definitely. Did your Mom tell you she didn’t really like your artwork when you gave her unidentifiable drawings as a child? Of course she didn’t! She’ll have praised it/you & thanked you. Your poor Mom will be gutted by what you said.
The thing I hated about being a Mom was literally having to think of what to cook for other people. Cooking is just one of the HUNDREDS of repetitive, thankless tasks that Mom’s have to do.
You need to apologise again and again and again – hopefully in front of the people who witnessed your thoughtlessness.
I am so cross with you OP!!!!
YTA. Think of all the time and energy she has spent preparing meals for you. Dont like them, you cook and at the very least make some gentle suggestions about preferred meals. You not only disregarded her efforts ungratefully but hurt her feelings.