I(19M) live in a house with four other college students. Due to a series of many events over the past 4 months, 2 of my housemates(20F and 21M and I don’t like housemate 5(19F).
Let me preface this with the fact that when we all moved in we decided on a rule for having people over. If one person says no to someone being over at the house, then everyone has to respect that decision.
Today housemate 5 asked if their partner could come over and stay the night. It is currently exam season and engineering exams are causing me a lot of stress so I told them that I’d prefer if no guests were over today as whenever they have guests over the 2 other housemates and I feel less comfortable.
Housemate 5 then said that it’s their 3 month anniversary tomorrow and they had plans. I asked if the plans couldn’t be rescheduled to tomorrow since that is when their anniversary is. They then told me that their plans involved them staying the night today.
They have also had their partner over for 4 days this week already.
Am I the asshole if I still them no to their partner staying the night?
NTA — You’re sticking to a house rule everyone agreed to before moving in, and you gave a reasonable explanation (exam stress + their partner has already been over a lot). A 3-month anniversary doesn’t override shared living agreements, especially when they already had multiple overnights this week. If they want more freedom to host, that’s a conversation about changing the rule—not ignoring it when it’s inconvenient.
Why not also limit how often sleepovers can happen? 5 nights in one week is another roommate. Do they get squatting rights now? Are they trying to make their bf a 6th roommate without paying rent?
NTA. Agreement was all must say yes. You said no. The answer is no.
NTA. Everyone agreed to the this rule, so your room mate should not expect to be given special privileges under the circumstances. If they can’t move it one day, especially since it the day of their anniversary, then they are acting entitled and unreasonable.
Does he pay rent or utilities? No? Then NTA. Plus it’s finals. She should go stay at his place so y’all can study.
NTA. “They have also had their partner over for 4 days this week already.” During EXAMS?!?!
Hard no on a 5th.
To add to this, there have been 3 other times someone said no to them having a guest over the past 4 months and every time they would start a fight about it
They are quickly outgrowing this living arrangement. They don’t seem able to abide by the rules they agreed to upon moving in.
[Is it by chance this same story?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/GAxHz13feM)
Surprisingly no, but I did chuckle when I saw that posted at the same time as I posted mine
NTA. You all agreed that if one person says no, it’s a no.
NTA.
If this were a standard roommate/lease arrangement I would say YTA because you have no standing to tell a rent-paying roommate what they can or cannot do in their space.
A college housing situation is different, and besides, you all agreed IN ADVANCE on the voting about overnight guest rules. So #5 is SOL and must abide by the rules.
And, FFS, they have had a guest over 4 nights already!!!
5 days in one week? Hell no! She can go to his place or they can move in together. NTA.
NTA! An engineering degree is nooooot cheap, all parties already agreed it only takes one ‘no’ to seal the deal and you need to focus on your studies! They can get a motel room or something if spending the night before their 3-month anniversary together means so much to them.
NTA – me and my roommates (also college) have the same rule and it mostly works for us (except when a certain roommate never asks and just lets someone spend the night 😐). that is disrespectful of your boundaries and the rules you guys created together.