A friend wanted to get rid of an item and I expressed interest in it. It’s a bigger, bulky item so I have to make arrangements to pick it up in my truck at their place, 20 miles away.
The friend was not available on multiple occasions when I was in their area, so we finally made an arrangement to get the item because I will be nearby taking care of some business.
I show up to pick up the item and **I pay the person** but I realize picking up this thing is going to take a minute and so I ask my friend if that’s OK to do the other thing I need to do one neighborhood over, then come back and do the pick up. They are fine with it because they’re not doing anything – they’re home all day. The place I have to go to is just 10 minutes up the road with a quick turn-around, then come back. This is understood and agreed to.
I get not five minutes away and I receive a text saying “we want to take you to lunch when you come back.” And I say “wow that’s really nice but I cannot go to lunch because I am on a schedule.” So then they decide they’re going to go to lunch – but no worries, "its only a quick place and won’t take very long." They are going to text me when they are back at the house. I say fine, I’ll just do my other errands up in their area. Well, an hour and a half rolls by and I’m done with my errands (I even did a couple extra things I hadn’t planned on) they have not texted me, so I text them. They are not back at the house yet and I’m welcome to just drop by and wait. But I explained to them that I already have a schedule and I need to get back to my location (20 miles to drive)! The errands that would’ve taken five minutes to to in my location have now already taken and hour and extra mileage to drive around their hood, so I’m already annoyed, but they’re not even back from this “quick” lunch yet. So I say to them “I’m sorry I am out of time. I have to get back to my location.” And I expressed that I “am appreciative of their invitation to go to lunch, but they knew I already had a schedule.”
So now I have to work with their schedule again and I’m so irked I have to come back. But then the last word this person says to me is “don’t worry the item isn’t going anywhere.” And I’m thinking “really?” I expected something like: “ I’m sorry we jacked up your schedule. “ And of course it isn’t going anywhere because I freekin’ paid you!! So am I the asshole for expecting them to understand that I was on a schedule when we pre-discussed the entire meeting and I thought it was pretty clear that I don’t have time to waste away my afternoon? I acknowledge that I did make a small change it’s true- but they told me they were there, no worries. no plans. all good. and then changed it up on me. Perhaps this is a jerky “good for you/good for me “ situation, but it sure feels like straight up lack of consideration. So AITA?
YTA. You said your thing would take 10 minutes, ended up being 90, that’s a huge difference. I wouldn’t expect someone to wait on me for an extra 80 minutes.
That’s not what OP said. OP was on their way to do the quick task when the other person decided to go to lunch. OP couldn’t join so told the other people just to let her know when they were home and she would run some errands in the meantime. These errands took 90 minutes but she was just killing time waiting for the friend to get home from lunch, not holding the friend up.
Correct. Thank you.
Well. You misunderstood. I took 90 minutes AFTER/when my friend decided five minutes after we agreed I’d be right back, that she was going to lunch. Only then I changed my plans; ran my errands and they STILL were not done with lunch…after 90 minutes. my original ‘change’ was based on them “here all day”, “no big deal”. “yeah come right back… ” then: “oh by the way, we’ve decided to go to lunch.”
Guess IATA because I have not explained this too well. I took 90 minutes ONLY AFTER/when my friend decided five minutes after we’d agreed that I’d be right back (20 minutes) that they wanted to take me to lunch. When I said I could not go to lunch, they said “well, we’re going”. Only after that did I change my plan to accommodate their lunch; and ran my errands and then 90 mins later they STILL were not done with lunch. my original ‘change’ was based on them “here all day”, “no big deal”. “yeah come right back… ” and an agreement. but then it was: “oh by the way, we’ve decided to go to lunch.” This person knew I was on a schedule when I arrived – I just made the little change because I realized I needed to get rid of one item in my truck to make room for the other. The friend understood – then bailed.
The way I understand the story is he left for the 10 minute errand with their approval and the those folks then left to go grab a quick lunch, at that time he then continued to do other errands for 90 minutes while waiting for them to return from the “quick lunch”. They were never waiting on him(after the agreed upon 10 minute wait).
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Either OP has edited the post after this comment or reading comprehension is truly dead.
NTA. How good are these friends because I think you’re going to find it hard to get your item. Usually the onus is on the buyer to be flexible with the seller. So some inconvenience on your part is expected. Then going to lunch (on what was your money no doubt) 5 mins after you leave is not cool. To keep you hanging for another 90 mins makes me think they’re conning you.
Nah, I know them. I just think this person is being waaay inconsiderate – and yeah, went to lunch on money I just gave them. Had I known this “quick lunch” was longer than 90 minutes, I would have blown it off and came back to my area-done my errands there (with less frustration, frankly) and got on with my schedule, no t hung out expecting to complete the transaction and be on my merry way. As was… ugh.
NTA at this point I might ask for my money back. Not saying you SHOULD do that but I’d be so annoyed and not even want it anymore. They couldve just waited til you got back to ask about lunch