So with xmas coming up we wanted to put our order in for chickens early. We went to our local chicken shop where they told us they would be closed xmas cause its busy. Thats fair but already ruffled my mums feathers. I made the suggestion we get them the day before and just heat them up for xmas day.
We go back in and as we place our order, with my mum asking if they can cut up the chickens, they tell us they might not be able to since its a busy time and they’ll have other orders. I honestly don’t know if my mum heard this or not, whether she chose to ignore is beyond me but they later reiterated that the chickens might not be cut and my mum lost it.
She demanded a refund (which they gave) and swore she wouldn’t come back again. So we left and headed towards the car with her ranting about how could they not cut the chickens and not tell her. I told her she was in the wrong for not listening to the lady (mind you I said NOTHING this entire interaction cause I knew better). Then she lost it at me.
Shes still mad and even went on a racist rant in the car about how the lady should learn to speak English (she was, just with an accent) and that this is her country and no one wants to work anymore. We’re talking civilly again but theres tension and I have no clue how to address and my sister said I shouldn’t have "poked the bear".
So AITA and apologize for not backing her or should I find a way to address without another blow up? If so, how the hell do I avoid that? My mums 60 so shes a gen x and this behaviour is like common but its never been THIS bad. At least not to the point where I wasn’t able to point it out.
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Exactly this. NTA OP. You did nothing wrong except maybe have poor timing on pointing out how badly she behaved. Beyond that your mom is TA for losing it like she did and the racist rant she went off on.
I think you know you’re NTA here. She sounds like a pain to deal with. As a mother and as a customer. She’s in the wrong and needs to grow up and handle making mistakes better instead of blowing up on others because she didn’t listen.
NTA but, as someone with a mom like this, your only option is radical acceptance, or cutting her out of your life completely. You’re never going to agree on how she handles things and she will never change, because she sees nothing wrong with how she acts.
Taking the red hat away might allow some common sense to filter in.
NTA, your mother sounds extremely entitled. I feel sorry for any person who has had the experience serving her in any fashion. You acknowledging you knew not to speak up during the initial conversation shows this isn’t new behavior as well as sister’s poking the bear comment. If you apologize you’re only enabling this behavior to continue in your life. You did nothing wrong, neither did the store clerk. If it’s brought up again stand your ground but I’d personally move on, it’s a chicken.. There’s really no point in holding on to this. Now if your mother holds on to it, this again shows the entitlement of her needing to feel like she is right or “won” the situation.
Pretty clearly NTA and I think you probably know that. The issue now is how you address the situation going forward. If she refuses to change her behavior (as I assume this is probably not the first time she has been unreasonable or offensive in this way) then it becomes more difficult. If you’re able to educate her then wonderful, if not and this behavior worsens, then maybe limiting contact could be beneficial-I don’t think cutting contact over this is necessarily logical unless she’s done worse things or behaves like this constantly. She seems entitled and prejudiced and it’s not your job to fix that, but it shouldn’t be your job to deal with it either. If you could direct her to improvement, that’s the ideal.
NTA. Your mom totally over reacted, to the say the least. Just leave it alone because she doesn’t want to hear she may have messed up instead of the person at the shop. I don’t believe bringing it up again will do anything except set her off again.
NTA. Hey now, don’t blame this on my generation. This is just entitlement in all of it’s ugly reality. Entitled people exist in every generation, you just happened to get one for your mom.
Don’t apologize for not doing anything wrong.