I 18f bought my sil 26f eddies for her birthday last week and her bd 28m got upset with me. In this story were calling my sil macy and her bd mario. For context were all a big group that randomly got close, but she told me that shes been wanting eddies or a pen weeks b4 her bday but her bf doesn’t agree with that stuff. I told her i could buy them but she tells me to never tell her bd about that convo. Fast forward to Friday night, its her bday dinner, we went out to eat and see the Christmas parade. I gave them to her and told her to be careful. Well Saturday morning i get a text from her bd. He says and i quote,"Hey sis I just want to tell you something. I know about the edibles you gave macy. No lie I am super disappointed in the both of you. I love you I truly do but I don’t love that. It’s hard for me right now not to be mad so I’m just keeping it short please don’t ever do that again. I forgive you I’m just letting you know if it does happen again I’m keeping my distance. I respect you enough to keep away if it ever happens again. I’m going to look past it. I’m over here like a damn jack ass waiting for her to wake up and come to find out that. I’m just confused. Wake up everyday go to work come home and whatever I feel i deal with it I don’t take no gummy or do anything to alleviate any of it. No lie if you love anyone you wouldn’t buy them no junk like that. That’s not a birthday present." I explained to him that my intention was not to hurt him or their relationship, and whatever he was thinking about macy he needs to talk to her about it, and if he really wanted that then i understood what he had to do. He continues to say we need to talk in person but never tells me when. Idk what happened between them two, but my sil finally texts me back last night saying shes okay and that them eddies are too strong 😂. So what do you guys think aita for buy my sil eddies?
Honestly, your heart was in the right place. The situation seems more about his boundaries and communication with Macy than anything you did wrong.
NTA But your sister is. She wasn’t ‘adult’ enough to either stand up to her bf for herself, or to tell him that she didn’t want to honor his boundary – so she got you to violate it for her. She manipulated the situation and made you the ‘bad guy’ in her personal relationship drama. Stop blaming the bf for your sister’s bad behavior. He was honest and clear – your sister was NOT.
Nta
Does she have experience with them and just didn’t currently have the means or opportunity to get them herself? Or was “told me she’s been wanting eddies or a pen” a case of “she has always wanted to try them but never has?”
I don’t thnk you are an AH for buying them for her against her BF’s wishes, that is between them, but if she doesn’t have experience with them and how much to take etc., you’re an AH if you just slipped them to her to take at her own time in a relationship where you know she won’t be telling her partner to watch out for her. You should then have met up with her and have her take it in a safe environment with a safe person (you).
So she does have previous experience with them. Now her safe person isnt me, her safe person is her bd, plus i currently live w my mil so its not like she cant come see me anytime.
If he wasn’t suppose to know that she has them, he is not her safe person in this context. But if she has previous experience, it’s on her to decide how she wants to take them and where, NTA
I was just worried that it might have been her first time taking them, in a situation where she is secretively taking them. The first time I took one, I didn’t feel anything for a long time after, took another… and wham, Stephen Hawking impression for the next hour or two (without his speech computer)…
I understand what you’re saying no i wouldnt just leave her like that if i didnt trust her bd then i wouldnt have done it to begin w
NTA but I definitely wouldn’t do it again. Your brother and his wife need to sort this out because clearly it’s a problem for him. We don’t know how marijuana impacts the SIL and therefore their relationship. That’s an issue for them to handle.
Edit: idk what the actual relationships are between these people after re reading this. It’s all a bit confusing. I assumed the SIL spouse would be OPs brother but could be OPs spouse’s sister. Point still stands. Don’t buy any more eddies for SIL let them sort it out
Def not again. But my thing is where im confused is why does he still wanna talk in person.
Yeah that’s kinda odd. I’d maybe tell him that you’ll respect that boundary, you don’t need further explanation or discussion about it and hope he and SIL work things out.
Edit: That’s if he brings it up again. If he doesn’t, just drop it
You came through with what sil wanted, and bd is coming off as controlling in my opinion. NTA you just got suck into a weird situation
YTA … You & SIL. You both knew the bf’s stance, so you hid it.
Why are you writing like a brain addled toddler?