Hey all, first time posting in a sub like this.
Here’s the situation. I 44m am a forever DM I’ve been running campaigns for my friends group for years and years. After our last campaign ended, one of the players, I’ll call him "Bob" put forward that he’d be interested in taking the Helm to run a campaign based on a popular video game that he’d been working on. The rest of the group was excited to let Bob run his campaign and we agreed to have Bob run his campaign for the group. Personally Ive never played this video game and have no idea what its about etc but also agreed to join in as a player.
Here’s the thing. I dont really enjoy the game from the player’s perspective. I get uncomfortable, lost for words, and honestly kinda bored. I play the occasional oneshot run by my players but haven’t played an actual campaign in years. I enjoy the game far more as the DM.
We’re a couple months in and the rest of the group seems to be having a great time playing Bob’s campaign but I’m really not having fun. We’re at level 3 now and when I asked Bob what level he sees it going to, he said he’s not sure as he’s still working on it, but probably up to around level 15. I’m completely lost not having the context of having played this video game or any of its prequels or sequels. Basically I’ve just been waiting for combat then once the fight is done im back to waiting. Bob really is doing a good job running the campaign and I know its entirely my issue with not enjoying being a player that is my problem. WIBTA if I didn’t want to continue as a player in this campaign?
If it’s not fun for you, you don’t have to do it, it’s not your job and you’re not obligated to be there. Just tell them that this game isn’t really doing it for you so you’re going to step away but are looking forward to the next one. Make sure you don’t phrase it in such a way that it sounds like you’re having a strop about somebody else being the DM though, or they won’t ask you back.
You wouldn’t it’s understandable you have been doing something for so long that when you get changed it feels weird talk to Bob, talk to your group and see if you can find a compromise, if not just sit this one out
NTA
Campaigns often take years.
If you’re not enjoying being a player, just tell your current DM and that’s that.
If you’ve truly given it a fair shake, then let him know that you appreciate the chance to play and you just don’t enjoy being on this side of the screen. Tell him he’s doing a great job and that you can see how much the other players love it and you don’t want to drag that enjoyment down and excuse yourself from the table.
Personally, I don’t think after months of work he’s going to give up the table because you leave. You just have to be ready to give up this group for a year or more. Do you dislike the game so much that you’re in with that?
NAH
Info: Will the campaign fall apart of you don’t participate? Are there enough other players that it can continue?
NTA. Would the other aspects of the night and game make it worth it? Good snacks, catching up with friends? I would be tempted to stay for that alone. But if it all feels like a net loss, then I wouldn’t put yourself through it any more. Any chance you can join another group/campaign?
I think you’d be fine if you seek a compromise or at least have clear communication. If you’re not having fun I wouldn’t say you should subject yourself to a long campaign of not having fun. That being said from my limited knowledge of DnD there’s a million ways to play. If you don’t like have to do dialogue I’ve seen players play as creatures or races that only say a couple words at a time and aren’t expected to roll speech related skills. I’d seek any possible way of finding a method to enjoy the campaign because I’d want to support my friends and see other people want to dm.
I definitely want him to be able to run his campaign, I just dont enjoy dnd as a player. Never really have. I like having the answers laid out and watching the players navigate to the conclusion one way or the other and seeing the story unfold. I enjoy knowing what plot points are coming up and anticipating what crazy antics the characters will get into while trying to navigate the different situations they find themselves in. It also doesn’t help that all of the others know the lore of this video game while I’m mostly lost.
That’s a completely fair point and I think you should explain to them exactly the way you are to me.
NTA. I’m mostly the forever DM, and I love it, and also struggle with being “just” a player. After trying to keep all the plates spinning in a home brew world, having to wait 1/2 hour between my actions while the others dawdle is…. well, its annoyed me as the DM and I HAD things to do in that time, ha.
Its a game, we’re supposed to have fun, if you’re not having fun, play a different game. If you feel you need to stay connected with this group socially, thats a different issue, but even running a separate group of folks for the stimulation, and just committing to the hang with this group could work for you.
My one friend comes with us to most DnD meets, but rarely plays. She will play the big bosses at the DM does, but other than that, she’s just kind of there being social. Maybe you do something like that!
NAH.
Just explain it to Bob. Tell him it’s nothing against him, everybody seems to be having a great time with his game. But you’ve worked out you much prefer being on the DM side, so you’re going to withdraw to avoid dragging everybody else down.
NAH unless you leaving would likely kill the campaign, then soft Y.T.A.. You should do what you enjoy, and your friends should understand that. But if you leaving would torpedo this campaign, consider weighing that against your feelings, and see of you can work with the DM to have a graceful exit that leaves things intact, potentially giving them time to pick up a replacement player, rather than an abrupt end.
So, a few options…
* Play the video games and see if that helps.
* Tell the DM that you enjoy being a DM more than a player and that you need to scratch the itch from time to time. Discuss running some small 2-6 session adventures to give the DM a break. Maybe there’s a way to tie it into the current adventure as either a side-quest or maybe as a prequel. I kind of like the prequel idea.
* Maybe the group needs a magic item and sets out to get it. But then you start a prequel adventure that shows how the magic item came to be and ended up where it’s at.
* Maybe you run PC origin stories. I like this idea as every four or five months, you pick a new PC and do an adventure on their origin story. These stories don’t even need to be about the PCs; they could take place many generations before a PCs were born. There are lots of options here.
* Give up on the campaign. But if these are folks you’ve played with for years, I’d be hesitant to go this route.