Earlier this year I invited a casual friend to attend a concert with me. I shall call them… Pat.
The person originally intended for the concert ticket had a work shift come up last minute and I did not want to be stuck with the ticket. (If it matters, concert was EAGLES at Sphere section 103, row 17- VERY good seats)
Pat took me to dinner at a local steakhouse to which they were 30 min late to the reservation they requested I make.
I wound up getting sick from Pat for 3 weeks, was told \*after the event\* they had a weakened immune system and get sick very easily when in crowds.
Fast forward to last weekend.
We were at a mutual party and Pat made a big deal over telling me they had a gift for me.
Gift bag was given to me with my name on card.
I did not open it at the party but carried it out to my car with other items.
On my drive home, Pat called me and asked me to return the gift, said it wasn’t meant for me, it was the "wrong gift".
I have a unique name, it is absolutely my name on the card in Pat’s handwriting.
Perplexed, I agreed to return the next day.
This was not a quick phone call but instead a repeated, "Please return it, it’s not meant for you." plea.
Next day, Pat’s partner comes to meet me with another gift in hand and hands it to me. I say, "I have the other one, should I give it to you?"
Partner says, "No, keep it."
"Okay, thank you." and they left quickly.
Opening this gift now specifically mentioned it \*is\* intended for me and I find a 4 pc black/white napkin set from a company called "Robert Stanley."
The kind that come from Hobby Lobby 50% off Christmas.
Huh, has to be a mistake, right? Yes, I understand that it’s the thought that counts but this seems to be a matter of no thought.
Pat is a well off individual so a tight budget is likely not a reason.
Pat has always spoken so kindly to me whenever we see each other, has always seemed happy to see me. We have exchanged text messages in the form of a casual friendship.
Am I the Asshole here for being incredibly hurt by the gift of cloth napkins that don’t have a theme or anything even remotely close to interests I hold?
FWIW, the \*other\* gift that I got to keep was a candle, a pen and a votive holder.
Is this a case of "Money can’t buy class"?
Why ask for a gift to be returned? That seems tacky.
Am I just too sensitive?
Do I have the right to feel used and stiffed?
Or am I just an asshole for not appreciating the napkin gift?
Thanks, reddit, I appreciate your insight.
INFO: Did you get Pat a gift? Did you end up keeping all of the gifts Pat gave you? Did Pat get anyone else at the gathering gifts? What does the Eagles concert story have to do with anything? Why do you accuse Pat of getting you sick when you were both in the same crowded space?
Especially that last question for me. Pat having a weakened immune system means that *they* are more likely to get sick in a crowd, not that they will somehow magically make OP more likely to get sick in a crowd just by being there with them. I’m very confused why that was even worth mentioning, in particular, though the whole concert story seems oddly irrelevant.
ESH. Asking for a gift back after it’s been publicly given is super tacky. Complaining about the gift that you received is equally tacky, especially when the giver has already stated that they hadn’t intended that particular gift for you.
Sooo… Pat got sick after attending the concert. And you got sick after attending the concert. And you think PAT made you get sick because they’re immunocompromised? Instead of. you know, you BOTH being exposed to the same illness at the concert? That’s nuts. YTA for that alone.
And you ended up with two presents from a very casual acquaintance who also took you out to diner and you’re upset about that? YTA for that as well.